MadnessAbe: "Well, we've looked over the statistics, settled the bets as well as any personal conflicts in here…"

Lucas Zaboot: (red faced, bruised and holding an ice pack between his legs) "You're a cheating bastard to knee someone in the groin."

MadnessAbe: "Well, you pulled a box cutter on me, what did you think was gonna happen?" (takes a drink from his coffee mug)

Lucas Zaboot: "Heh heh, f*ck you, enjoy your coffee you piece of sh*t…"

Johnny Zealous: (shaking his head at this) "For once, can we have a co-host that you WON'T pick a fight with?"

Lucas Zaboot: "Well if you're looking for suggestions, I know a gentleman's club a few blocks down with some lovely ladies that could be a co-host for us-"

Johnny Zealous: "I'm talking about here in the Death Battle booth, doofus."

Lucas Zaboot: "What did you think I was talking about?"

MadnessAbe: "Are you going to prattle on like a married couple or can we get to the violence we promised?"

Johnny Zealous: "Of course, it's Death Battle time ladies and gents, so let's get it on!"

- -

Mega City - Present Day

A typical metropolitan city for an average day for others. The postman delivered the mail, the police officer patrolled the streets to keep it safe, joggers ran their four to five miles, the religious went to church to confess their sins to men of the cloth and white-collar employees sat in cubicles typing away on computers from 9-5. A normal day all in all.
Everything was working as it ought to to keep everyone unaware of the truth of their environment. So long as everyone was asleep to the truth, the machines from the outside would harvest from the humans for energy.
But today was not like any other, against the programming, something was going to shake things up.
Some would call it fate, others would say it's coincidence, but for three hosts that sat in a cosmic booth that could pull together people from other universes, frankly, they outranked those wussy-ass machines.

High above the clouds, several ships broke through the atmosphere but stayed high to avoid detection as they scanned the area below them for any Separatist signals if they were hiding out on this planet they found themselves on. In the yellow spaceship that resembled a TIE fighter, there sat the long-haired, battle-worn Clone Wars hero, General Anakin Skywalker as he flew through the clouds, looking down on the city below him.
"Any luck out there?" Anakin called out on his communicator to the other Clones flying about.
"Nothing in this quadrant sir." One Clone replied.
"Heinlein 744, have you found anything?"
"Negative sir. Just traffic signals for the vehicles below, but nothing Separatist based."
"Geddy 121, what's your status?"
"Negative sir. This planet is untouched." The Clone responded. Anakin looked down onto the ground again, everything seemed so primitive despite all the skyscrapers. No flying vehicles, no neon lights, it was just a city with ground-based vehicles.
"Well, try and get a signal through to the fleet, we could take this planet and use it as a forward command post for the war-"
"Sir! A bogey flew right past my scanners!" A clone pilot called out as Anakin found himself looking around, seeing something zip past him. Anakin immediately put the thrusters into action as he reached out with his mind as well as the ship's scanners to locate what went past them so fast.
"I'm on it! Keep your scanners active, it might come around." Anakin commanded as he caught something on the radar, Anakin sped up as he inched ever so closely to this bogey.
Just as the ship came out of the cloud bank, Anakin's eyes widened in surprise.
It was a man.
There was a man flying in the air, occasionally spinning to touch the clouds but there was no denying, there was a human flying through the air, leaving Anakin stunned. Were there more humans like him on this planet? If there was only a way to talk to him. Anakin tried to reach out with the Force but he was only hitting a wall, like he couldn't quite get through to him. Making a quick decision, Anakin fired a stray warning shot away from the stranger, but close enough to get his attention. The flying human turned his head and looked back at Anakin's ship, allowing Anakin to get a look at this sun-glasses wearing stone face before it made a slight curve and then zipped back into the clouds.
"Boys, I found our bogey, lock onto my signal and follow me, we're going to try and bring him down so we can try to communicate." Anakin said throughout he communicator, following after this strange human.
"Yes sir." was the response he got as Anakin dived into the clouds, losing sight of the man in black. Anakin reached out with his mind to try and locate this individual, but before he could get a lock, he heard a knock on his window. Looking up, there he was, the same guy looking at Anakin with the stiff face. The dark-haired man looked at Anakin's console as Anakin wondered what this man was doing. Before Anakin could figure it out, the man made an artful flip in the air before landing a solid kick onto Anakin's engines, causing his controls to give out loud warning beeps to indicate engine failure. The stranger was gone and Anakin was starting to go down.
"Troopers! I'm going down! I'm gonna try to slow my decent, but I need a safe place to land! Find me one!" Anakin called out as he wrestled with the controls.
"Already found one sir, an air field not too far from here."a clone trooper called aloud.
"Group together and lead me there, this is gonna be rough…" Anakin called back as his ship continued to go down.

- -

Despite the initial bumpy landing, Anakin made it to the ground safe and sound as the other clones came out to see if he suffered any severe injuries.
"Are you all right sir?" A clone trooper with red marks asked.
"I'm fine, just a rough landing, but I'll manage." Anakin said, at that moment, his mind pricked. He sensed something. "He's coming."
"Who is?" the Clone trooper asked before, without warning, a loud slam was heard a few yards away, causing the troopers to aim their guns.
"Your bogey Captain." Anakin said casually as he stood up and walked forward, staring at the individual that caused his ship to crash.
"Identify yourself or be shot down!" The Clone Captain ordered to the man in black who looked them over through his dark-rimmed sunglasses.
"I didn't mean to harm you, I wanted us to talk on the ground." The strange man said aloud to Anakin, paying no attention to the clone troopers.
"Well, I was willing to speak in the skies, how should I know you're not here to fight? Who do you think you are?"
"My name is Neo. I just want to talk." The man with the sunglasses said calmly.
"That time has passed, troopers, take him down." Anakin waved his hand as the troopers moved forward, guns at the ready as they formed a line, opening fire on Neo. To the surprise of the clone troopers and Anakin, Neo casually dodged each laser that came his way, it was too fast for any of the clones to see, but through concentration, Anakin saw Neo move his body to avoid each shot that came his way. Eventually, the troopers' guns ran dry and Neo still stood in place, not a mark on him. The troopers turned and looked to their general for what to do next, Anakin thought about taking out this stranger but he decided to let the clones have another go to see what this stranger was capable of.
"Use the taser sticks." Anakin commanded, he needed more proof of this guy's abilities if he was going to tackle him. The clones nodded as they put their guns aside and pulled out sticks, upon activating them, two prods came out and sparked with electricity. The clones circled around Neo as Neo stood there, only looking around him at the clones. Once the clones got into position, the first one ran forward.

With the help from the Force, Anakin was able to follow Neo's swift movements as he kicked, punched, deflected and spun his body around to fight off the clones that attacked him. One clone ran forward, swinging the taser stick, only for Neo to grab his arm, swing him around and threw him into the path of another taser stick, Captain Hanson was the last one standing as his attempt to take on this man in black found him getting a swift kick to his chest with enough force to fly in the air and ram into Anakin's ship, which Anakin just moved his body to the left to avoid the impact.
"Impressive." Anakin complimented as he uncrossed his arms, removed his Jedi robe as he stepped forward to properly face this foe. "Perhaps you're not as weak as I assumed."
"Your move, but I warn you, I'm stronger than I look." Neo said in his usual dull monotone.
"Fair enough, there's more to me that meets the eye too." Anakin replied as he pulled his lightsaber out of it's holster. "My name is Anakin Skywalker, know the name well, this planet will after I'm done with you."
"I can't let you do that." Neo said, holding up his hands in a combat pose.
"What are you gonna do about it?" Anakin smirked as he activated his lightsaber, revealing it's blue humming glow.

FIGHT!

Anakin lunged forward, lightsaber spinning as Neo swiftly moved out of Anakin's way to land a blow onto the back of Anakin's neck, however, he mistook the lethality of the lightsaber as Anakin gave it a quick spin and left a burnt cut on Neo's arm, prompting Neo to swiftly back off to inspect the wound.
"You cut me…but it burnt the wound closed…woah…" Neo said as he looked back to Anakin, who grinned and spun the blade in place before holding a new combat pose. This pose was strange, but it didn't appear to be any different than the countless martial arts downloaded into his memory. Neo raised his fists for Shaolin style as Anakin lunged forward, this time, Neo avoided Anakin's lightsaber and used the forward momentum of Anakin's lunge to throw Anakin off-balance.
However, Anakin used this tumble to roll onto his back and back to his feet before leaping backward to slash at Neo, who swiftly bent his upper torso back to dodge the lightsaber before letting himself fall to his side and using his legs to swing Anakin's legs and trip him as Anakin touched down on the ground. Anakin, however, placed his hands on the ground and used the momentum to flip over his head and return standing up. Anakin rammed the lightsaber down where Neo was, but Neo, impossibly, flipped himself into the air and landed back on his feet before Anakin pulled the lightsaber out of the ground and he threw the lightsaber at his adversary.

Neo saw the blue beam coming towards him and, reacting fast, bent himself backwards to dodge the incoming lightsaber coming towards him. Once it had flown past Neo's head, Neo lifted himself back up only to see Anakin running at him, a hard punch hitting Neo right in his face before Neo could react  left Neo falling back. But Neo recovered quick and he flipped onto his hands and back to his feet where he and Anakin exchanged fists. Anakin found Neo's fight techniques sporadic, constantly changing before Anakin could get some sort of fix on what sort of style he was using. Sometimes it was defensive, sometimes offensive, sometimes, it seemed like he was just trotting to wear down Anakin to get a few blows in, which some did connect.
Just as Neo was about to land a kick, Neo heard a humming behind him, looking back to see the blue lightsaber coming back like a boomerang. At that moment, Neo found his foot caught by Anakin's hands. thinking quick, Neo pulled off a move that could only be described to some of the young people on this planet as "an impossible Street Fighter move," Neo swung his other foot right into Anakin's face, causing Anakin to release Neo's other foot as Neo flipped over the incoming lightsaber that returned to Anakin's hand as Anakin recuperated from the kick to the face. Anakin growled as Neo repositioned himself and held out his arms before waving his fingers as if to taunt Anakin to bring it on. Anakin spun the lightsaber in his hand before he came forward, spinning his body around to throw Neo off before he thrust it forward. Neo, however, reacted quickly and, just as Anakin thrust his arm forward, Neo smacked the arm away and rammed the back of his fist into the back of Anakin's head. Anakin was dazed but he swung his weapon backward, causing Neo to dodge the sword, landing both his fists into Anakin's side, pushing him back. Anakin took the moment to breathe, putting a hand on his chest. No broken ribs, but man alive could this guy pack a punch.

Anakin spun the lightsaber in his hand around as he leapt into the air and drove the lightsaber downward, Neo dodged the attack, but Anakin swept his leg and tripped Neo. Neo, however caught his fall as he landed on his hand, swept his legs up to keep the momentum, delivering another kick to Anakin's face and chest as Neo spun in a cartwheel-like motion, evading another lightsaber jab in that second as Neo returned to his feet, ran up to Anakin, literally running up Anakin's chest, to deliver a solid kick, in slow motion for the action movie-junkies, to the side of Anakin's head, forcing Anakin down on the ground, disoriented, while Neo landed on his feet, taking the moment to breathe.
Anakin forced his way back onto his feet, surveying his situation. This guy had no weapon and yet, just being cut once by the lightsaber, he seemed to have a counter for Anakin's fighting stance and could get in and land blow upon blow. Were it not for Anakin focusing the Force in those areas, he probably would sustain more serious injuries. Anakin focused his mind, an idea came to him, it was worth a shot after all.
As for Neo, he was fine, through the sunglasses, he saw Anakin as this world identified him; in code. But there was something different about Anakin Neo couldn't understand or figure out. While Anakin appeared green like the other people that ran around in this world, there was some sort of orange code that ran through his body, all except for his right arm, but from the punches to his face Neo felt from Anakin, he had already guessed it was mechanical.

Anakin stood up, straightening himself, leaned his neck to the side, a firm cracking pop heard from this as Anakin spun the lightsaber in his hand again and repositioned his pose. Neo recognized this as a variation of the Japanese sword-fighting style Kenjutsu, of course there was a different name for this where Anakin came from but in Neo's understanding, all combat originated from somewhere and evolved to the hundreds of differing styles, regardless of where you came from. Neo lifted his arms and ran forward, preparing to flip over and send Anakin on his face. However, this was what Anakin anticipated as Anakin extended his hand, Neo suddenly found himself being flung into an airline hanger by some unseen force where Neo crashed through solid steel and landing in several wooden crates. Anakin grinned, this guy may be an effective fighter, but he is pretty gullible to fall for tricks like this.
Neo cleared away the debris of abandoned crates before he shook his head and stood up.
"What the hell?…" Neo said silently before his phone began to ring. He pulled it out and answered it, clearing the dust off his clothing. "Yeah?"
"Heads up Neo, you got Agents incoming." A voice onto other line said, Neo recognized it as Link, the systems operators looking over his every movement.
"Well that makes things better. Anything else?" Neo sarcastically asked.
"Yeah, stop getting your ass kicked. I have bets on you winning." Link replied. Neo shook his head, but the second he hung up, Anakin cut through the wall.

Looking around, Neo found a stray support pole lying around. Neo quickly kicked the pole into his hand, gave it a quick spin and held out his hand to show he had skill. Anakin only smirked as he ran forward, lightsaber in hand. Needless to say, the pole in Neo's hand lasted about as long as the flavor for a single piece of 5 Gum. Neo paused for the moment to look at the two halves of the pole in his hands before looking back up at Anakin, who grinned in a mocking way. Neo, tossed the now useless pole to the sides as he raised up his fists, taking on a Tae Kwon Doe combat style.
Anakin flung his lightsaber towards Neo again as Neo leaned to the side and grabbed the damaged crate nearest to him and flung the debris towards Anakin. The lightsaber returned at that moment, cutting through the debris like butter, but just as the lightsaber made it's way back to Anakin's hand, Neo surprised Anakin with an elbow strike to Anakin's ribs before a swift maneuver by Neo grabbing Anakin's free hand forced Anakin over Neo's body and slammed him onto the ground.
Neo let go of Anakin's arm as he tried to run out through the hanger's entrance. Anakin, however, recovered from this surprise attack as he extended his hands, the crates began to fly into Neo's direction, forcing Neo to run towards the wall and flip over the wall to avoid ramming right into the crates that suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
"What the hell is going on?" Neo thought to himself, "this some sort of glitch in the Matrix?" Just as he finished the thought, the familiar blue beam missed Neo's nose, forcing Neo to back up as Anakin tore through a crate and threw a punch to Neo's forehead. Neo fell back onto his hands but he used the crate behind him to bounce his momentum back onto his feet, throwing a punch towards a surprised Anakin, who managed to block the blow with this arms, but the impact still forced Anakin back a meter, skidding across the floor. On a beat, Anakin lunged forward, swinging his lightsaber for Neo's chest, Neo flipped over Anakin, but Anakin, reacting fast to this, spun around and grabbed Neo's leg, throwing him down onto the hard concrete. Anakin tried to thrust the lightsaber onto Neo, but Neo rolled onto his back, placed his feet around Anakin's neck and, with incredible strength, flung Anakin into the untouched crates, which caused the adjacent crates behind Anakin to fall on him.

Anakin force-pushed the crates off of him as he got back to his feet, putting a hand to his head from the headache he received. He looked up and saw Neo running out of the hanger, so Anakin gave chase, nearly being blinded by the natural light outside. Just as he was about to throw it again, Neo slammed his hand to the ground and flew into the air, shocking Anakin who only looked up as he saw Neo fly away.
Was he…retreating?

"Coward!" Anakin yelled out. "Come back and fight!" He reached out with the Force and felt Neo's presence, getting farther and farther away. Anakin couldn't let him escape, he began to play with Neo's head, hoping to find something that could make him come back, Neo was making distance but there was one thought in Neo's head that Anakin could make out; a woman.
"I sense your thoughts dwell on a woman, perhaps she would make a better combatant than you?" Anakin yelled out. At that moment, the slowly fading presence he felt stopped in place. Anakin grinned; Neo heard him.
"Oh yes, I can sense people and read minds coward! If you run off now, nothing will get in my way to finding her, perhaps she'll prove a more effective fighter than you…of course, you've been more of a worthy fighter. If a few minutes is all you can stand against me, I'd hate to imagine how quick a fight with her would be…" Anakin continued to taunt. He felt the presence making a return. Anakin grinned, he took the bait.

Anakin looked around at his surroundings, using the Force, he moved two of the abandoned V-Wings into place where he sensed Neo was going to fly towards him, more specifically, the image of Neo's exact actions came to Anakin's mind: Neo would fly right towards Anakin at high speeds, ramming into him like a fighter ship coming out of light speed, the impact would break Anakin's bones, send his broken ribs into his lungs and heart, filling his lungs with blood.
Oh and the impact would also snap Anakin's spine and cause his head to dislocate off the spine, essentially paralyzing him while he was dying. But hey, the small things, right?
Naturally, with this foreknowledge fresh in his mind, Anakin decided to change fate and get the drop on Neo before this could happen by slamming the V-wings into Neo as he flew towards him.

At that moment, Anakin saw a black dot approaching, coming in very fast. Anakin revealed the blue beam of his lightsaber, holding it behind him as he stood waiting for Neo to come towards him, readying himself for his trap. Neo got closer and closer and in a split second, Anakin Force Slammed the V-Wings together, but looking up, Anakin realized Neo dodged this attack. Just as Anakin was preparing to throw the V-Wings when that prickling sensation in Anakin's head warning him of danger. Moving the V WIngs out of Anakin's way, his eyes widened to see a whole mess of vehicles coming right towards him, brought upon from the impact of Neo's speedy-flying.
Not seeing an opportunity to dodge, Anakin Force-threw the V-Wings into the direction of the cars, they exploded on impact, but more kept coming, at this point, Anakin braced his arms together and focused his mind to create a barrier to stop the oncoming cars. While it stopped the first 5-6 cars, more vehicles pushed against the cars, forcing Anakin back, more and more piled on until Anankin was finally flung back, all the cars following before they landed on top of Anakin like one great big football doggy pile.

Neo flew around for a moment before he touched down on the abandoned runway, looking over all the destruction. Before you ask, yes, Neo knew Anakin was going to slam him with the space ships, Neo had a precognitive warning strike him just as he turned himself around, Neo decided, in that moment, to let physics (or magic bullshit powers, whatever you what to call it) take care of this problem and use the cars being pulled by his exiting force brought upon from crush the-

KA-BOOSH!

Neo placed his hands over his ears as what sounded like a million nails scratching on chalkboards, the vehicles piled on top were flung all over the airport's runway like popcorn going everywhere, though with the sounds of broken glass, metal scraping against asphalt and crashing sounds from the cars making impact, concluding with a Taxi landing a foot short of where Neo stood. The sound subsided, Neo put his arms down, ears still ringing from the sound, he saw a figure step out of the wreckage, Anakin's hair was singed on the left side and there was a gaping bloody head wound on his right side. But right in front of Neo's eyes, Anakin tilted his head, his neck giving some popping sounds as the gaping head wound sealed itself closed, though the blood remained on that side of Anakin's face.
Even without the blood on his face, it didn't take a psychiatrist to see Anakin was not a happy camper.



"Very clever, but it'll take more than that to put me down…" Anakin growled, slowly climbing out of the small crater he had formed.
"Listen, we can talk this out peacefully. We don't have to be playing games with each other." Neo said aloud, hoping Anakin would listen to reason. Anakin stepped forward, placing his hand on a car as Anakin stopped in place and looked down at the car next to him. Then Anakin looked up at Neo, then looked around him, taking notice of all these vehicles littered around, from sport cars to minivans to even a metro bus and a gas tanker that was dented up and leaking, but, relatively, still in one piece.
Anakin grinned, the fool gave him everything he needed to work with. Anakin turned back to Neo and put on a fake smile.
"Why yes, I agree…it is foolish to attack you head-on." Anakin said with authority. Neo only continued to stare at him.
"I'm glad to see you can be reasoned-" Neo began to say before Anakin, who casually walked around the minivan with a crushed front bumper.
"I also agree that I'm getting tired of playing that game of close-combat with you. So…" Anakin turned, that smile that would make some people uncomfortable as he placed his organic hand on the minivan's broken-up hood. "…I suggest a new game…Catch."

With that, Anakin Force-Flung the minivan towards Neo, who, expectedly dodged the car coming towards him, but no sooner did that minivan miss Neo, he saw Anakin running through the scrapyard of cars Neo created, each one being flung towards Neo. Neo's eyes widened, he forced himself to leap off the ground and jump onto the oncoming cars being flung towards him, dodging a few while leaping onto the next one to keep his forward momentum and at least try to throw another fist or foot towards his attacker. Anakin seemed to be like a blur to the now-distracted Neo, he appeared to be speeding from car to car, flinging them like they were made of plastic or foam, but they sure as hell didn't feel like it.
Neo continued to leap left and right, dodge this car, dodge that car, leap onto this car, flip over this car, if it were a video game, it would almost be like a Quicktime event. A bus flew towards Neo's direction, So Neo flipped off the car he was standing on before and ran along the roof of the bus to get to Anakin. To his sudden surprise, a blue beam erupted from the end of the bus,, creating a circular hole where Anakin popped out, surprising Neo as he tried to stop himself, but the forward momentum as well as the slippery surface of the bus roof made that impossible. Anakin rose the lightsaber over his head and swung down.
In a moment too fast for human eyes to see, though what could best be described as "bullet time" to the savvy movie crowd, Neo dropped to his back, evading Anakin's lightsaber slash, and then lunging his legs between Anakin's arms with his feet making contact with Anakin's chin.
Anakin went flying just as Neo slid off the edge of the bus. Anakin, however, was still conscious, with a quick wave of his hand, a car flew towards Anakin and caught his fall. Anakin stood tall, with a quick moment to set his jaw back into place, Anakin turned his attention to Neo. He didn't really expect that to work, in fact, he predicted that to fail. Out of sight from Neo, Anakin raised the multiple vehicles he had flung as well as the ones that were still left on the runway into the air and began allowing them to float around Neo was was trying to reposition himself in the air.

As soon as Neo finally steadied himself in mid-air, a car rammed into his back, causing Neo to roll over the top of the car. Neo looked back at the car before he turned and saw Anakin coming towards him, in that split-second, Neo managed to dodge Anakin, though Anakin managed to cut through Neo's sleeve before he disappeared behind the floating cars that seemed to be spinning in random directions. Neo looked around, trying to focus on where Anakin was, but every time he tried, another car came right towards him, forcing Neo to either dodge the car or bat it away. Every so often, Anakin would then lunge right at Neo, lightsaber in hand, slash at Neo while he was distracted, though Neo's reflexes managed to at least allow Neo to evade a fatal blow, though it didn't stop Anakin's weapon from making contact to knick the sides of Neo's arms, legs and even his torso.
And every time Anakin lunged at Neo, he would focus the Force to a car he was falling towards to catch his fall and join the other cars floating around, distracting Neo. Even Neo, with his ability to distinguish programs and humans from one another couldn't properly focus with everything going on around him. Hell, it was more than enough of a struggle for him to keep his focus. Each time he saw Anakin, he kept seeing that strange pattern again, some orange code that seemed to move around in Anakin's body while his exterior seemed green like everyone else.

Eventually, Anakin decided to strike, he flung in four cars at once, just as Anakin charged the Force through his legs and leapt into the air like he was on the moon. Just as Neo had dodged the fourth car, Anakin swung his lightsaber towards Neo's head. In that instant, Neo, not even looking back, quickly turned his hand around and, to Anakin's shock, caught the beam in his bare hand. Anakin's eyes lit up like headlights in surprise that someone could have done this impossible feat. Neo swiftly flung Anakin aside, only by Anakin's quick reaction did he manage to pull up a car to stop his fall. looking back, Anakin saw the hand Neo had the lightsaber in was badly burnt.
"You nearly worried me for a minute. I thought you were invulnerable, guess I was wrong." Anakin quipped as he sensed Neo coming towards him, thinking fast, Anakin Force Kicked the car he was on towards Neo, surprising the One as, at that moment, Anakin reached out with his hands and had all the cars he had floating around gang up and slam down onto Neo. Just as before, Neo dodged or batted away each one, but he looked up to see a semi-truck falling right on him, hitting Neo before he could move away as the two crashed into the runway below. As Anakin fell freely in the air, he threw his lightsaber towards the tanker, igniting the gasoline as the tanker exploded, flames spreading from the spilled gasoline that combusted.

Anakin eventually steadied himself and, with assistance from the Force, touched down to the ground safely. Anakin stared at the flames that rose high, reaching out with his hand, his lightsaber returned to him, a bit singed, but still intact. Anakin looked up at the destruction he had caused, he waited for a moment to see if his adversary had somehow survived.
He sensed nothing.
With that, Anakin turned around and walked towards the only V-Wing left, preparing to return to base camp with news of his victory as well as information about a new planet that would shortly belong to the Empire.

Winner: Anakin Skywalker

- -



- -

Just as Anakin was walking towards the remaining V-Wing, his mind pricked just at the moment he felt something tapping his shoulder. Anakin turned around to see Neo, his sunglasses broken, some burns that began to heal themselves and smoke on his dark clothing. Neo pulled off the sunglasses, showing an expression outside of boredom or surprise; annoyance.
"I don't like that game." Neo said. Anakin activated his lightsaber and tried to swing his arm, but Neo swiftly grabbed Anakin's elbow before headbutting Anakin. "I'm ending this once and for all." Just as Anakin regained his senses, Neo slipped through Anakin's defense and wrapped his arms around Anakin's torso as he flew right up into the air with Anakin. As Anakin tried to regain his lost breath and use this lightsaber again, Neo stopped, allowing Anakin to fling off, but instead of letting him fall, Neo grabbed Anakin's leg and began to spin him around in place. All the blood started rushing to Anakin's head as he struggled to try and swing his lightsaber at Neo's hands.

After what felt like a minute longer than 30 seconds of Neo spinning Anakin around like a rag doll, Neo finally released Anakin, letting him fly through the air in the direction of the main terminals. Just as Anakin was trying to get his bearings on what to do next, Neo slammed himself right into Anakin's torso, literally knocking the wind out of Anakin's lungs as well as Anakin's lightsaber. At that moment, another precognitive image surged in Anakin's mind; he saw Neo taking him into the city where Neo would continue to fling him around like a rag doll until he would finally carry Anakin to the clouds before slamming him down into the hard concrete.
This image forced Anakin to do something drastic, something that would be frowned down upon by the Jedi Order. With his good hand, Anakin charged Force Lightning right into Neo's back, the intense pain and shock forced Neo to release Anakin as the impact caused Neo to crash into the terminal down below. Anakin grinned until his mind went off of danger, looking behind, Anakin realized he was still going through the air and was going into the direction of a helicopter. Acting fast, Anakin turned himself around, focused his power to his legs again as his feet hit the side of the helicopter and then, using the helicopter and the Force, Anakin forced his direction right back to where he saw Neo crash, caring little for the helicopter that went down from the impact of Anakin slamming into them, as Anakin then focused the Force to soften his landing, though not before crashing through a skylight and landing between some chairs that tipped over from the impact.



Anakin stood up before he groaned and fell onto his knee.
He pulled a leg muscle.
Despite all the punches and kicks he took to his face, being flung around like a rag doll and the humiliation he suffered at Neo's hands, this was what hurt Anakin the most.
Pulling a leg muscle from that landing.
Anakin knew he had to finish this quickly, he was becoming fatigued and his connection to the Force was starting to weaken. Anakin stood up and limped his way over to the crater that was formed. To Anakin's surprise, Neo was still alive, though he climbed out of the crater slowly, panting heavily and spitting out blood.
"I don't…understand you…" Anakin said through his heavy breathing as he continued to limp closer to Neo. "What drives you…to keep fighting me?…" Neo didn't answer, he only groaned as he finally climbed out of the crater and stood on his hands and knees, panting hard. Anakin took this moment to reach out with his mind as he touched Neo's mind.
The images he saw were clearer now that Neo was starting to become exhausted. A woman with ragged clothing smiling at him, a black bald man who clearly showed authority and the image of Neo, in ragged clothing, nothing like what Neo was wearing here, sitting on a chair, almost comatose with a cord attached to the back of his head. Upon seeing this image, Anakin opened his eyes as Neo was attempting to get back on his feet.
"Now I see…you're not here at all…" Anakin said sternly, Neo looked up with surprise, how did he know he was plugged up? "How fitting, you've beaten me to a pulp, making me feel helpless…well, now it's time to return the favor…" Anakin raised his hand and clenched his fingers close together as the air in Neo's throat stopped.

-Main bridge of The Nebuchadnezzar-

Trinity, Morpheus and Link watched attentively at the monitors, rows upon rows of green symbols going down detailing the actions occurring inside the computer program known as The Matrix. Suddenly, the monitors overlooking Neo's health began beeping. Trinity looked up and went over to Neo, seeing his body gasping in the chair.
"Neo?! What's happening to him?" Trinity yelled out. Link looked over the monitors at his station.
"It says he's suffering from asphyxiation…but it's coming from out here." Link said, in disbelief to be reading that right.
"How?!"
"I- I dunno. This asshole's not reading like a program or an Agent or anything I've ever seen in my years or hacking…" Link said, trying to figure something out. As Morpheus looked over trying to understand what was going on, he noticed the cord that plugged Neo into the Matrix began to shift, almost looking like it was trying to slide out of Neo's head.
"Trinity! His plug!" Morpheus called out as he grabbed the cord and kept it back in place, holding Neo's head but despite his strength, it felt like some invisible force was trying to pull out this cord all while trying to choke the life out of him.
"He's killing him! You have to send me in there!" Trinity pleaded as he tried to keep the plug in Neo's head with Morpheus.
"I can't! Agents are already converging on them, the closest I could get you would be two miles away. There wouldn't be any time!" Link protested, typing away at the keyboard for something to try and save Neo's life, but there was nothing he could do. Trinity turned back to the man she loved, gasping for air as if some invisible hand was squeezing Neo's neck, robbing him of the precious air he had.
"NEO!" Trinity yelled, hoping Neo would hear her and listen. "FIGHT IT NEO! FIGHT IT!"

-Back inside the Matrix-

Fight It.

This echoed in Neo's head. He was struggling to breathe as Anakin limped closer to Neo who was now on his knees again. The voice was Trinity, he knew that, and she was correct, he couldn't let it end like this.
In a desperate attempt, he looked at Anakin, that bizarre pattern showed up again. Orange code running through Anakin's body, though it seemed to be intensified at his hand and in the middle of his body-
"Wait a minute," Neo thought, "the center…oh what an idiot I am…" Neo realized, this orange code that ran through Anakin's body was his blood, something in his blood gave Anakin his power and all the blood came to one place, one spot: the heart.
Now knowing what to do, Neo dragged himself across the floor, he tightened his neck as he dragged himself towards Anakin, who was now grinning wide.
"What's this? Are you going to beg now?" Anakin said, half-joking, as he squeezed tighter on Neo, who dragged himself over to Anakin and pulled himself to his knees as he placed his hands on Anakin's shirt, Neo's eyes were red and bloodshot, the stream of blood going down his mouth and his face starting to turn read from the lack of air. Anakin reached out his other hand as the lightsaber flew to his hand, a the blue beam revealed.
"I've changed my mind, I'm going to end your suffering now." Anakin raised the lightsaber, ready to jab it into Neo's back. But just before that happened, Neo shoved his hand right through Anakin's chest, causing Anakin to stop, gasp as he saw Neo's hand deep through his chest. Without needing a reason, Anakin kicked Neo away from him, pulling out Neo's hand from his chest. Anakin backed away, breathing hard as he placed a hand on his chest where Neo forced his hand in.
Surprisingly, there were no marks, no scars, it was like Neo hadn't even touched him, but that feeling…it felt like Neo had reached in and, literally, grabbed Anakin's heart. Neo coughed loudly as he gasped, breathing in air again, much to his and the crew of the Nebuchadnezzar's relief. Anakin looked to Neo, anger rising.
"You…you'll pay for that!" Anakin extended his hand again to choke Neo…but something was different. Neo wasn't gasping for air like before. Anakin was confused by this, he reached out his hand to try to Force Throw Neo to the walls, but Neo only picked himself off the floor, not even moving from his spot. "Wha- what did you do to me?"
"I looked…through your body…" Neo wheezed in-between breaths as he attempted to steady himself. "I saw some bacteria…going through your bloodstream…" Anakin thought back to something Qui-Gon Jin told him a long time ago about cells that lived in his blood stream that allowed a Jedi to touch the living Force around them.
"Midi-Chloriants…" Anakin said to himself silently before looking back up to Neo.
"I reached in…and killed off the bacteria that infected you." Anakin's eyes widened like dinner plates. That, it couldn't be right, he had to be lying. Anakin lunged forward with his lightsaber, but Neo easily moved out of the way, causing Anakin to tumble and fall over. Anakin climbed off the ground with a look of disbelief on his face. It couldn't be…
"My…my speed…my strength…it's gone…" Anakin said as he turned and stared at the man they called The One. Anakin got up and lunged at Neo again, but Neo easily grabbed Anakin's hand, delivered a firm heel kick, forcing Anakin out the doors of the terminal and onto a parking lot. Anakin groaned in pain.
He didn't want to believe it, but it seemed there was no other way to say it.
His power was gone.

Anakin forced himself back on his feet just as Neo came out, the deactivated lightsaber in his hand as he looked at Anakin.
"I don't need my power to kill you!" Anakin yelled, holding up his fists.
"I had hoped that with your power gone, we could finally talk." Neo said calmly, rubbing his neck.
"We have nothing to say to each other!"
"Tell me, have you ever felt that there was something wrong with your world?" Neo asked, Anakin kept his fists up if this was some kind of trick.
"What are you talking about?"
"What if I told you that everything you thought you knew, everything you were born and raised to understand…was a lie?" Anakin lowered his fists slightly.
"What do you mean?"
"Well…the truth is-"

BAM!

Out of nowhere, a bullet zipped through, penetrating the skull of the great General Skywalker and exiting gout the other side. Anakin fell to the asphalt as blood seeped from the holes made in his skull. Neo was taken aback from this until another bullet zipped past him, forcing him to turn and see the source of the bullets that were being fired.
Police cars were approaching the scene, but these weren't the boys in blue, they were Agents, programs designed to act as anti-virus to protect the Matrix and destroy any troublemakers like the freed humans of Zion as well as keep others inside this virtual reality dream.

Neo looked back to Skywalker, realizing there was nothing more he could do, so Neo slammed his hand to the ground and flew into the air, bullets whizzing past as Neo escaped, lightsaber in hand to see if Link could replicate something like it for the human resistance.
No sooner after Neo escaped, Agents stopped their cars, the closest Agent stepped out and looked over the corpse of Anakin Skywalker.
"Trash it with the others." The lead Agent said coldly as two other Agents picked up the body to dispose and hide the mess their fight had created.

Winner: Neo

- -



- -

Anakin's body fell to the asphalt as Neo stepped back in surprise. Bullets whizzed by as he turned and saw the Agents he had been warned of before arriving. Neo raised his hand to slam to the ground and fly off, but his gaze turned to Anakin, lying there like he was, typically a bullet to the head would kill someone, but Agents had taken bodies before and turned them into their own-
"Fuck." Neo couldn't just leave this warrior here. He quickly grabbed the back of Anakin's shirt and, evading the onslaught of gunfire, ran back into the airport terminal and took cover behind the desks. bullets fired all around, but Neo and Anakin were safe, for now. Neo breathed deeply as he placed his hands on Anakin's unmoving head, his thumbs covering the bullet hole as Neo focused his power. Within a few seconds, the hole that went through Anakin's head repaired itself and Anakin's eyes opened with shock, forcing Neo to lean back as Anakin took several heavy breaths.
"What- What happened?!" He looked to see Neo sitting there. "You again?!"
"You were shot, now you're not. We're under attack." Neo said as he looked around the corner to see the Agents entering the terminal entrance.
"Why? Why did you save me?" Anakin questioned as he took peeked around the corner.
"Truth is, I've never met or fought anyone like you before. It's potential that would be stupid to throw away against the fight for peace." Anakin looked at Neo surprised to hear this.
"You're in a war as well?"
"Yes…and unfortunately, we're losing. We don't have enough resources to combat The Machines." Neo explained. "Those Agents are part of them."
"I've been fighting machines too…I didn't know they recruited humans now…"
"They don't."
"Huh?"
"It's…not easy to explain…" Neo turned to face Anakin, "listen, I can typically handle these guys no problem, but I'm too fatigued from our bout…" Neo raised his hand and held Anakin's lightsaber towards him. "I'm going to trust you to help me…" Anakin stared at the lightsaber for a moment before looking back to Neo.
"You would really trust me, even after all I've done?" Anakin said.
"Yes. Help me clear these bastards out, I'll tell you- no, I'll SHOW you what I'm fighting for and why it's important that humanity wins." Neo said, he extended his hand to Anakin as Anakin calmly took the lightsaber in his hand.
"I'm useless without my powers now…"
"Not a problem…" Neo reached into Anakin's chest again, a cold chill running down Anakin's spine but once Neo removed his hand, Anakin felt everything around him, the midi-chloriants were functioning as before. Anakin sensed all the Agents in the terminal and outside, he was back.
"I could just kill you right now, you know." Anakin said leaning back.
"I know, that's why I'm trusting you to kill them right now instead of me." Neo said as he looked out and saw the Agents coming closer. "Do you have my back?" Anakin looked at Neo for a moment before he revealed his lightsaber's blue hum.
"Yes, but only for now." Neo nodded as the two jumped out of hiding, guns blazing, fists and kicks thrown, and the Agents witnessed first-hand the power of a Jedi.

-Several weeks later, Coruscant-

Inside the office of Emperor Palpatine, Palpatine looked over monitors and holograms of star systems and people giving him updates on the Republic's progress on combating the Confederacy. He had sent Anakin Skywalker out for a special mission beyond the explored Outer Rim to see if there could be any planets or systems to establish a listening outpost in case the enemy attempted to loop around the Republic's defenses. That was nearly a month and a half ago, no contact came from Anakin since then and he came to worry whether Anakin failed his mission or not. Right at that moment, a hologram popped up with the image of his secretary present.
"My lord, General Skywalker has arrived and requests to see you personally."
"Skywalker is back? That is good news! Send him in!" Palaptine said optimistically. He turned off his monitors and equipment as he got out of his chair and nearly made his way to the door when the doors were burst open, standing in the doorway was Anakin, but he looked different. His wardrobe was all-black, leather-looking, his hair was shorter, less curly and sunglasses hid his eyes.
"Anakin! A great pleasure to see you aga-" Palpatine began to say with a warm tone before Anakin interrupted.
"Save it Palpatine, or do you prefer, Darth Sideous?" Anakin said sternly, Palpatine froze in his place, how did Anakin know this?
"Anakin, what are you talking about? Where did you hear that name?"
"Don't toy with me Sideous, I know the truth. I know everything now. You're playing both sides of this war to force the Senate to keep giving you executive power until you are so powerful, you can kill the entire Jedi Order and I was going to be one of your pawns to get you there…" Palpatine was surprised that Anakin knew this, but it made no matter to hide this now.
"All right, you got me Skywalker. You're right about everything, but what makes you think you can stop a Sith Lord by yourself?"
"Who said I was by myself?" Anakin grinned as, from the darkness, out stepped a man with a stiff face, dark sunglasses, black attire with coattails reaching down to his feet. Neo walked over and stood at Anakin's side as the both of them stared down Darth Sideous.
"It doesn't matter if you have two or no one, you will all die!" Darth Sideous pulled out his lightsaber, revealing it's red beam to the two. Anakin and Neo both pulled from their pockets, lightsabers, though Neo's was more primitively designed than Anakin's, revealling Anakin's blue lightsaber beam and Neo's, appropriately enough, green lightsaber beam. After a moment of staring each other down, the three lunged at one another, with Neo flipping into the air, ready to destroy evil in this galaxy once and for all.

Winner: DRAW

- -

Lucas Zaboot: "…the f*ck was that?"

MadnessAbe: "If read right, three optional endings to how this battle could have ended."

Lucas Zaboot: "For f*cking real?"

Johnny Zealous: "From all the information we received on the fighters, we couldn't come to one conclusion. So we offered three."

Lucas Zaboot: "My ass! I'll give ya an ending!"

- -



So these f*ckheads meet up, whiny-kin's all like "Ima big whinerpants and im gonna kick your stupid ass if you ain't with me or whatever." then the f*cking wood table in black's all like "nuh uh, cause I know Kung Fu 'n sh*t." and Whiney-kin's like "nuh uh." and Wood table's all like "yeah huh!" So they start f*cking sissy fighting or whatever before they blow the f*ck up cause they f*cking suck dick.
And i get a million dollars.
The f*cking end.

- -

MadnessAbe: "…that was pitiful."

Lucas Zaboot: "Oh f*ck you, ya test tube, music-selectin' jerkass!"

MadnessAbe: (rams his fist between Lucas' legs)

Lucas Zaboot: (falls out of his chair) "AGH! GODDAMN IT! NOT AGAIN!"

Johnny Zealous: (watches Lucas writhe in pain as he subtly fist bumps MadnessAbe before returning his attention to the cameras) "Ahem* yes, these endings. Here's the thing… this match was VERY close as both fighters could match each other's speeds and strengths but also counter each other's specialities, which is what made deciding on a winner very difficult."

MadnessAbe: "Anakin is a fierce lightsaber swordsman, but Neo has every combat style downloaded into his brain, regardless of the training Anakin learned from a different galaxy, all combat is derived from a source that stretches off from one another like a family tree. With all the combat in Neo's mind, it wasn't difficult for him to derive similarities between Djem So and Shien from the combat techniques created on Earth. In short, Neo dominated in the area of close-combat."

Johnny Zealous: "Anakin, on the other hand, while he struggled to get in close enough to Neo, was able to throw Neo for a loop with his long range combat techniques, from using the Force to throw Neo around, throw cars and even used his Force powers to choke Neo from outside The Matrix, a trick not even the Machines can pull. To add to that, Anakin is far more clever and strategic than Neo, who just runs in fists flying."

MadnessAbe: "Hmm, reminds me of someone." (looks down at Lucas still writhing on the floor)

Lucas Zaboot: "Groan* I f*cking hate you…"

Johnny Zealous: "While you could make the argument that Neo could have won for not losing his temper or not being as exhausted as Anakin, Anakin's Force Powers are more than a match for Neo and Neo had never encountered anymore before with powers like Anakin's before. Hence why trying to choose a winner was difficult to decide upon."

MadnessAbe: "So, why have one when we can have three? You wanted Anakin to win? Choose Ending #1. You wanted Neo to win? Choose Option #2. You wanted them both to win? Choose Option #3."

Johnny Zealous: "The results will differ for everyone else, but for us here, we'll call it a draw…for now…"

MadnessAbe: (gets out of his chair and shakes Johnny's hand) "Well Mr. Zealous, it's a pleasure to be here to watch the carnage, but I have Battle to write as well and trust me, the next one me and Insanus have planned…" (puts on a pair of sunglasses) "…is really gonna blow your balls."



Lucas Zaboot: (groans louder) "that was a terrible pun…ow…"

MadnessAbe: "I don't have to make clever puns, I just have to be quick on the draw." (he leaves the booth as Lucas struggles to get back into his chair)

Lucas Zaboot: "ugh…you're enjoying this, aren't you?"

Johnny Zealous: "hmmm, a little bit."

Lucas Zaboot: "high…never let him work with us again…I want my testicles intact…"

Johnny Zealous: "Sorry, but he's coming back to co-host for season 2."

Lucas Zaboot: (groans before he falls off the table again) "…ffffffffff************cccccccckkkkkkkkk….I hate this job sometimes…"

- -

ANAKIN SKYWALKER - VICTOR/LOSER/DRAW
+Lightsaber outperformed any tool or weapon Neo tried to use
+Force Powers offered more variety for long-range combat
+Far better strategist than Neo
-Combat techniques were trumped by Neo's knowledge of combat
-Anakin's temper got the best of him
-Force Powers took it's toll to cause Anakin to fatigue

NEO - VICTOR/LOSER/DRAW
+Devastating close-range combatant
+Neo's limitless stamina kept him up and ready to go even when he was thrown around
+Kept his cool and saw Anakin's weaknesses
-A poor strategist compared to a war general like Anakin
-Didn't have much in the way of defending himself from Anakin's Force powers
-Neo's physical body was left at risk, a flaw Anakin found and exploited

- -

Next time on Death Battle!

It's New School vs Old School Fantasy RPG. But put those controllers away, cause this match requires a mouse and keyboard.