literature

John McClane is cowboying up for Death Battle

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JOHN McCLANE
First Appearance: “Nothing Lasts Forever” - Robert Throp 1979 novel (inspired by the character Joseph Leland), “Die Hard” - July 1988 (official)
Aliases: Cowboy, Roy, Billy
Height: 6’0”
Weight: 185lbs-203 lbs
Occupation: New York Police Detective Lieutenant, 90th Precinct, Brooklyn, NY
Portrayed by: Bruce Willis
Theme: 

FEATS:
-Shirtless, shoeless and with little resources, McClane took down 12 heavily armed bank robbers posing as terrorists holding office employees hostage at the Nakatomi Plaza on Christmas Eve
-With minimal support from security, took down a terrorist group holding the Washington Dulles International Airport and uncovered a conspiracy to free a Latin American dictator
-Subsequently, disposed of these terrorists by opening their plane fuel hatch then igniting the leaking fuel, causing the plane to explode and gave the other passenger planes a trail to land on the ground, saving the passengers
-Teamed up with a civilian to play a sick game by a bomber named Simon Gruber in order to learn his identity and locate him. They succeeded with McClane blowing up his helicopter
-Teamed up with a hacker in order to stop the plans of cyber-terrorist Thomas Gabriel from shutting down the entire United States infrastructure (stock market, Social Security, transportation, etc.)
-Teamed up with his undercover CIA Agent son Jack to stop a Russian billionaire from selling uranium left in Chernobyl to be sold as weapons
-Somehow survived the most death defying attacks, falls and explosions ever inflicted on a human being
-Has killed a total of 73 terrorists in his career




SKILLS
-Improvisation artist
     +Uses whatever he has on hand or in his environment to distract or attack his enemies
-Trained firearm user
     +Is a good enough shot to shoot out tires from moving cars and terrorists
     +Took down two with just two bullets
     +From a snow-mobile, fired against a terrorist leader, unaware the gun was full of blanks though
-Skilled Hand-to-Hand fighter
     +Can stand up against martial arts experts and still keep going afterwards
-Good athletic shape
     +Ran over the course of several hours to reach bombs and pay phones in a short time limit

EQUIPMENT:


POLICE DUTY BELT
-Beretta 92F

     +15 Rounds
     +Semi-Automatic
     +9x19mm caliber
     +Most police duty belts carry two extra magazines
-Handcuffs
-Pepper Spray
-Taser
-Flashlight
-Police-Issue Multi-Tool 
-Police Baton



DURABILITY:
-Taken blows that would otherwise kill ordinary people
     +Been punched and kicked in his throat numerous times, a blow that would otherwise collapse an airway passage
     +Taken blows to his head that would otherwise cause massive head trauma and internal bleeding
     +Endured blows that would otherwise break bones and tear muscle ligaments
-Survived multi-story falls that would have otherwise killed normal people 
     +As seen in “Good Day to Die Hard,” jumped out a glass window, fell 15 stories through constructive scaffolding and landed in a garbage bin below and still walked it off
     +Grabbed onto ledges from falls that would have otherwise broken his fingers
-Shot at enough times to bleed out or cause major artery injury (that’s bad)
     +Shot himself through the shoulder to finish off Thomas Gabriel
-Keeps getting flung into glass
     +Even ran across a floor full of them without shoes, severely injured himself from this but still kept going regardless
     +Even in his 50s, was flung from a helicopter spinning out of control into a glass window and still kept walking
-Survived explosions and fires that would otherwise cause 2nd to 3rd degree burns or scorch his airway passage
     +Survived a fireball explosion he caused himself to take out 4 terrorists coming up an elevator shaft
     +Survived a bomb he flung out of a subway that exploded seconds after doing so
     +Survived a bomb going off on a boat just before he leapt off the boat into the water, but still came out just fine
     +Leapt off a fighter jet onto a broken highway just as it exploded behind him



WEAKNESSES:
-Still bleeds like an average joe
-Too stubborn to admit he’s wrong from time to time
-Former heavy smoker
-Glass, it just won’t leave him be



"Yippie-Kay-Yay Mother-fucker!"
diehardjohnmcclanedeathbattlediehardwithavengeancedeathbattlecommunitydeathbattlebio
Figured someone had to put up this famed fictional NYPD officer's bio after seeing a few people announce interest in using the character for Death Battles.

Well, here ya are folks. Have fun!
© 2015 - 2024 Volts48
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SpectrumStreet's avatar
SpectrumStreet

Can I use this?