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The Spongebob Squarepants Movie Nostalgiaview

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Hello and -yadda, yadda, yadda, you get the picture, I'm reviewing a movie ala` Nostalgia Critic style minus the skits and insistent yelling. Get over it.

It's time to rip on Nickelodeon again and if you thought "Grow Up Timmy Turner" was an insulting slap to our childhoods, then let's rip on another movie to come from Nickelodeon, but one to actually have been released in theaters, "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie."

But before I tear into a childhood favorite for many, let's examine some backstory on our yellow sea-sponge friend to see how it all went wrong.

"Spongebob Squarepants" is the ongoing television show made in 1999 created by animator, writer and marine biologist Stephen Hillenburg, who acquired his degree in marine studies in 1984 before acquiring a Masters degree for animation at the California Institute of the Arts in 1991; the same college that taught the boys who formed Pixar and bore the classroom number A113 that became the Easter egg for many Pixar films.
Hillenburg got is start in animation by directing, writing and storyboarding many episodes for Joe Murray's "Rocko's Modern Life," there, he met his future collaborators, voice actor Tom Kenny, writer and voice actor Mr. Lawrence and future "Phineas and Ferb" writer and the man who inspired Spongebob, Martin Olson.
Yes, you read that right, the idea for Spongebob came from a comic book made by Martin Olson titled "The Intertidal Zone," the comic was nothing to boast about, in fact, finding snippets online was difficult, but you can see why a guy with a background in marine biology would be interested in the comic. After "Rocko's Modern Life" was cancelled, Stephen approached the Nickelodeon executives with his idea in 1997 and won them over with his pitch, given money and two weeks to come up with a pilot episode. Calling together some friends he made while working on "Rocko's Modern Life," including Tom Kenny, Stephen Hillenburg made the episode "Help Wanted." Seeing this show as potential, Nickelodeon gave it the green light for a season, seeing no financial threat in case the show could fail as it was so cheap to make (the approximate numbers are hard to find but I've read some accounts of the show costing $50,000 in it's first season, comparatively, the budget for Spongebob episodes now can go from $350,000 to $500,000).
While not initially successful, the popularity exploded in 2000 and like anything that's popular, there's one way to sell the product: Moichandising! Ya put ze show's name on everything! Moichandising! Moinchandising! Where the real money from the show is made! Spongebob the t-shirt, Spongebob the coloring book, Spongebob the lunchbox, Spongebob the breakfast cereal, Spongebob the flamethrower (the kids love that one) and last but not least, Spongebob the pull-string doll. ("I'm Ready! I'm Ready! I'm Ready!")
But all joking aside, the first three seasons of Spongebob Squarepants contained some of the best comedy coming from Nickelodeon…at least in my opinion… Seasons 1-3 containing some of the best episodes as well as the best jokes even written for an animated show at that time. Jokes that only got funnier as we grew up ("Once, there was an ugly barnacle, he was SO ugly that everyone died. The end.") with the characters being at least likable enough to warrant the proper emotional response when called for. Joy, sadness, flabbergasted and, of course, laughter.

But then…this movie happened…
After the movie, everything changed…
The animators and writers of the show were wrapping up season three when the movie was green-lit, halting production for the show until the movie was finished. By the time they were done, the animators went into the fourth season by late 2004. After the Movie, Spongebob had changed from the cheap show that Nickelodeon could afford to lose if audiences didn't tune in to upping the staff and production value after the Movie received $140 million worldwide.
The movie made it possible for more money to come in for better animation but it also allowed Stephen Hillenberg to step down as director and co-writer, just before Season 3 was over. His replacement was Paul Harrison Tibbitt, a storyboard artist for shows like "Recess," "Catdog" and the appropriately named short-lived show "Whatever Happened to Robot Jones?" Before taking over Hillenberg's duties, Tibbitt did writing and storyboards for several episodes, even providing his voice a few times on the show (remember Doodlebob? That was him).
By season four, the show got progressively worse.
The jokes stopped being funny, devolving Spongebob from this innocent and naive young man into this obnoxious and annoying and obsessive manchild (pretty much everything I hate in Will Ferrel). Not only that, the shows started to take a turn from being clever in it's jokes to resorting to being really disgusting, the episode of Spongebob and Patrick fighting over being dirty and clean is a perfect example of gross-out humor being used wrong (Growing a nose when you lack one is amusing, being forced into someone's gross armpits isn't funny.) Then came that godawful "Truth or Square" episode which hammered the final nail in the coffin for my childhood when it came to Spongebob. Clip shows are, without a doubt, the lowest form of televised entertainment; if you are that lazy in your writing and yet you can drag all these talented people to make an appearance on your show, then frankly, you should either stop making these cartoons or get a new writing staff and try harder to BE funny instead of shockingly gross and annoying.

Yet, Nickelodeon won't dare take Spongebob Squarepants off the air because this miracle show makes the network $8 billion in moinchandising; if you were an executive at Nickelodeon, would YOU stop the long-running show that has been making a profit for you with a sequel in the works? I didn't think so.
It's sad though to see that this is what Spongebob has turned into. The days of Spongebob selling chocolate bars from door-to-door (I swear, "Chocolate with Nuts," is the BEST episode of Spongebob Squarepants and I ask anyone otherwise) to shrinking the citizens of bikini bottom with Mermaid Man's belt ("You should set it to Wumbo.") to driving around Bikini Bottom on a rock ("The pioneers would drive these babies for miles.") are now gone. But for us older young people, we can at least look at these episodes fondly to remember the better days.
As for me, I know who to blame for this travesty Spongebob has turned into: "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie." I can't see any other cause for the decline in the show's quality than when this animated fast food meal reared it's ugly head and isn't that reason enough to rip on this movie?
Johnny Zealous: "Not really."
Alec: "Shut up you corporate plug-in."
Johnny Zealous: "I am not a corporate plug-in! This review, by the way, is brought to you by Dawn, the dishsoap that helps the environment and keeps those cute duckling clean and happy for the camera."
Alec: "…"
Johnny Zealous: "What? I'm paid by the minute to do these ads!"
Alec: "Oh go back to hosting Death Battle."
Johnny Zealous: "Hey! That's a great idea! If you reading out there don't want to read this snobbish jerk tear into your childhoods, come on over to Death Battle and check out the Death Battle for Aquaman vs Spongebob Squarepants! Continue to support Death Battle and check out other Death Battle Writers on DB-Writers-Unite and DEATH-BATTLE-4-ALL!"
Alec: "Out! Out! Out!"

Well, now that we have that out of the way, let's go back to the movie that effectively ruined my childhood: "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie."

- -

So, you're wondering, since this is a movie with a much bigger budget than the TV show, what will this movie do to reel you in and encourage you to stay in your seats instead of going to see that downer "A Series of Unfortunate Events" for a second time?
Live action pirates.
Hey, so long as there's no live-action Timmy Turner, I'm good.
The movie begins showing a pirate in a crow's nest looking out to see a pirate rowing towards them yelling out "I got it! I got it!" This causes all the pirates on board to scramble, including a rather amusing physical comedy bit where the pirate captain opens his door to smack a pirate trying to get his attention. The pirates lift the treasure chest onboard as the captain arrives to look at the chest.
By the way, for a $30 million budget, I'm actually impressed the movie got some real pirate costumes with a real parrot instead of those cheap dollar store costumes like what Patchy the Pirate would wear on the show with a really obvious puppet. For this movie, all looks real, almost like I'm watching a different sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean, except this time I'm more invested in what it is these pirates are doing.
Well, enough time-wasting, what is in this chest that is making these pirates scramble about?
Pirate Captain: "I never thought I'd see it with me own eye…Tickets to the Spongebob movie!"
Alec: "Okay….All nitpicking aside…that was really funny. I'm not kidding, that was an effective example of comedy. The build-up was effective to make the audience think there was something of great importance in this chest and the pay-off to reveal it's tickets to go see a movie, it immediately takes the movie out of the time element we were led to believe was set in and, gosh darn it, how funny is it to see all these rough and gritty-looking pirates get excited to find some movie tickets inside a wooden chest? This is the first joke of the movie and it's already promising and hilarious."
But what can you do to follow-up an effective joke like that? With the pirates singing the Spongebob Squarepants theme song, in male choir and you know what…I love it!
Seriously! The kids singing the theme in the show were good and all, but there's such majesty in hearing an all male-choir of trained voices sing together the classic theme that we all grew up on. It's this opening that really makes me wish the movie was about these guys instead of the main character, but don't get me wrong, at this point, as a child, I'm still eager to see Spongebob on the big-screen and these guys serve as a great introduction to get your audience in the mood for the "nautical nonsense" that is to come. It gets even better with these pirates, they park their ship in front of a movie theater, they barge in and raid the concessions stands, all to the confusion and fear of the staff working there (special note to the guy holding onto the cash register for dear life), as the pirates decide to take the available seats in the very front of the movie theater, which, from experience, is the worst place you could sit in a movie theater.

All righty, we're off to a good start, the movie finally begins with the iconic tropic island that is always above Bikini Bottom as the French narrator does his thing.
French Narrator: "Ah. Ze sea. So mysterious, so beautiful."
Alec: "By the way, this is the only time the narrator appears in this movie, hope it was worth hearing Tom Kenny pull off his French accent for you all, cause you won't hear it until he says "Meawhile" later in the movie."
So the movie goes down below to the Krusty Krab where- wait, the f*ck? A police line? What?! When did this become "Dog Day Afternoon?" I thought I was watching Spongebob, ya know, the yellow sponge guy who laughs and dances around? Was this really what came up during the writing process for this movie? Do a "Pirates of the Caribbean" parody just to quickly move to a hostage situation movie?
So, before you can even ask your parents "when did this ever happen in Spongebob?" Up drives a limousine with, who else, Spongebob Squarepants (v. Tom Kenny) wearing black boots with snakes on them…okay…so what the hell is going on?
Spongebob: "Talk to me Krabs."
Mr. Krabs: "It started out as a simple order: a Krabby Patty with cheese! When the customer took a bite…NO CHEESE!!!! AGH THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE!"
Alec: "…really? Is that really a situation that calls for the police to come here? Could you imagine what a waste of time that is for the Police who could be chasing down actual criminals and solving actual problems and yet THIS is a problem that warrants their attention? Oh yeah, all units, head down to the Krusty Krab! There's a customer who doesn't have cheese on his crappy fast food! Oh yeah, the mayor is being held hostage and a gang of old ladies is robbing a bank but, pff, that's not as important as a cheap burger."

Spongebob heads inside to this panicky guy crying over the fact there's no cheese on his burger. Spongebob just puts the cheese on and there we go, crisis resolved. Did he really need to come in to take care of that?
But it's okay, all of that was just a dream, which makes Spongebob happy because today is the opening for the new Krusty Krab 2…original name…well actually, Spongebob is excited because today, Mr. Krabs (v. Clancy Brown) will announce who will be the manager for this new restaurant chain. Spongebob firmly believes he'll be chosen because of his 374 consecutive Employee of the Month awards make him more than qualified….hold on…374 awards?…(does some calculations)… that would mean Spongebob has been working for Mr. Krabs for around 31 years and yet, during that time, Mr. Krabs has not hired any other employees or opened up a chain of Krusty Krabs? Just saying, for a miser like Mr. Krabs, he would try to reach out a bit and start a whole chain of fast-food establishments, especially in the busier parts of the city.

So we get to spend the next few minutes seeing Spongebob's mourning routine, like going into the shower to eat soap and stick a hose in his head, origami-fold his pants but having the back end reveal his butt-crack despite the fact we saw him in his underwear earlier (you can see they're swinging for the easy jokes), brush his eyeballs and then go bother his neighbor and co-worker Squidward Tentacles (v. Roger Bumpass) who is…taking a shower?…frankly this doesn't surprise me that much, I mean, we've seen Squidward taking baths to try and relax only for Spongebob to ruin his day, but I only wonder how Spongebob got into his house without Squidward noticing. You'd think he'd lock his door after all these years.
He kicks Spongebob out as Spongebob goes to the home of his genitalia-less best friend, Patrick Star (v. Bill Fagerbakke) where they discuss their plans to celebrate Spongebob's promotion by going to an ice cream "Goofy Goober" shack or whatever, all while singing this stupid little song:
"I'm a goofy Goober yeah, you're a goofy goober, yeah, we're all goofy goobers, yeah. Goofy goofy goober goober yeah!"
Five minutes into the movie and I'm already annoyed, got to hand it to them, Nickelodeon has outdone themselves, usually it takes 10 minutes to get me annoyed for a movie…but for fairness' sake, there is a line that does at least get a chuckle out of me:
Spongebob: "And tonight after my big promotion, we are gonna party till we're purple!"
Patrick: "Yay, I love being purple!"

As Spongebob heads over to the Krusty Krab, where a news crew appears to announce this restaurant that is…literally just next door to the original….um…..like I said, it's not a bad idea to build a second restaurant, but right next door? Even Starbucks at least goes down a few blocks when they build their cafes. Hell, wouldn't it be smarter to build the Krusty Krab 2 at an Airport? Or a bus station? How about the metropolitan city where there are more people? But the middle of nowhere you have to drive out just to go get food? Yeah, how is this place still in business?
Mr. Krabs: "Hello! I like money!"
Anchorman: "What inspired you to build a second Krusty Krab right next door to the original?"
Mr. Krabs: "Money!"
Alec: "gee, must be a slow news day if you're asking someone why they would build a second restaurant for your world-renown Krabby Patty, huh?"
Meanwhile, across the street at the less inviting Chum Bucket where Mr. Krabs' business rival Plankton (v. Mr. Lawrence) complains that he has never once had a customer, well it'd probably help if you spruced it up instead of leaving it dusty and cobwebby. He complains that he would have customers if he could just get his hands on the Krabby Patty secret formula, which prompts me to ask why he can't make his own recipe? I know he's a science major, but for crying out loud, you're able to afford all this science stuff and yet you can't afford to hire a cook to MAKE better food than Chum? Hell, while you're at it, hire a new PR guy to have him fix up the place to make it look more customer-friendly and change the name. How about "Plankton's Appetizer Bucket?" Every purchase of appetizers, you get to take home a bucketful of them!

So Plankton reveals he's used all of his most devious of plans from A-Y, forgetting to have used Plan Z. Why did he not use Plan Z? Guess he mistook it for Plan N, an easy mistake for an evil mad scientist who could just make better food or build a giant robot to break into the Krusty Krab at night while everyone is away sleeping.
By the way, I know since this is a text review and you can't see it yourself, but the over-reactive facial reactions from the characters in this movie range from disgusting to horribly animated. Such an example exists here where, in the span of 5 seconds, Plankton grows large nostrils to smell his plan and then his eye gets bloodshot while his teeth protrude and spaced between each other. It's unsettling and it really takes me out of the movie, even when it's animation looks clean and crisp, which, in my opinion, really takes away the aged look from the show's first three seasons. In my opinion, the low quality of the animation allowed for the show to do some really damn good jokes with live-action cut-aways (ex. an old man who smiles and holds up his thumb approvingly, someone turning on a lamp made from a pufferfish, and an artist on a boat who loses his pencil) and even when the show kept to it's animated format, it utilized great use of visual humor ("Who you calling pinhead?" "What's chubby here doing? Focusing." "Spongebob, we are not cavemen, we have technology.") this movie, I swear, you really have to see it and the original seasons to understand what I'm talking about, but you watch those episodes and this movie and you can see what I'm talking about.

Spongebob runs over Plankton, who brags about taking over the world, to which Spongebob shows no concern for, despite being the manager, you'd think he'd just warn him to stay away or he'd stop him personally, but no, that'd be too short a movie if that happened. One segway later, Mr. Krabs announces the opening to an overly-enthusiastic Spongebob, in which another amusing moment is had from the dialogue.
Mrs. Puff: "We paid $9 for this?"
Sandy Cheeks: "I paid 10!"
Alec: "Can we just start up a counter for the jokes that I actually laugh at? A counter for anything that is genuinely funny and gets a chuckle out of me."
Funny Moments Count: 2
"That should do it."
Mr, Krabs continues to drag on the suspense of who the manager is as Mr. Krabs reveals that the new manager is not the obviously passionate and hard-working Spongebob Squarepants, but the uncaring, inattentive, self-centered Squidward Tentacles who wears a "I Really Wish I Weren't Here Right Now" button on his shirt. Yet Spongebob goes up anyway to give a speech until Mr. Krabs tell him to stop, at least not before Spongebob just repeats it all into the microphone. So, you all wonder, why then did Mr. Krabs pass over the most obvious choice for manager when it's clear Spongebob puts more energy into his job than Squidward? No, it's not because he's a dork, or a goofball, or a wingnut or a "knucklehead mcspazzatron," interesting choice of words…but no, that's not it.
Mr. Krabs: "Look, what I'm trying to say is, you're just a kid and to be a manager, you have to be a man, otherwise, they would call it 'kidager.'"
Alec: "My last few Supervisors at work would seem to differ from that line of thinking. But really, Spongebob has to be over 31 years if he was able to acquire 374 awards, how is he still a child? Also, he works around cooking hazards all the time, said hazards you have to be over 18 and have a food-handler's permit to use by the way, even if he's a man-child, he's at least capable of paying his bills, feeding himself and his snail and keeping a paying job."
Oh and somehow, as Spongebob walks away, the sun is setting, even though we started out in the morning with Spongebob waking up and running down to the Krusty Krab, which would imply it'd be mid-day, but now it's evening? What is this? The day of inconsistent sun placement? Oh and before the movie can even give Mr. Krabs a moment to reconsider, Patrick arrives, naked and holding a flag between his butt-cheeks, rooting for Spongebob as he crashes into the stadium starting a fire…yes a fire underwater…even Patrick made fun of that once and that was really damn funny…being naked and flying in…no…that's not funny…

That night, Plankton flies away from Bikini Bottom and flies over to a large sand castle of the monarch, King Neptune (v. Jeffrey Tambor), buy the way, remember in the original show how Neptune was super muscular, had blue skin and long flowing locks of hair? Yeah, apparently these writers thought it's be funnier to make King Neptune green, fat and bald, the last thing this movie constantly revels in poking fun at Neptune for, by the way. Since when has baldness been a bad thing? Tell that to my Uncle, at least he makes it work. So Neptune called together a court hearing to try this guy for touching his crown, even though he's the royal crown polisher and his arms are so thin, they could easily slip out of his handcuffs. He wants to give this guy 20 years in jail for doing his f*cking job? What sense is that? That's like if Obama sent his shoe polish guy to Guantanamo Bay because he had the nerve to clean Obama's shoes when he wasn't wearing them. I get that this is supposed to be over-the-top humor, but it only functions to make this king seem incompetent and hammer in this theme of "compassion over an iron fist.
Neptune's daughter, Mindy (v. Scarlett Johansson, wow, that's quite a surprise) is thankfully not as stupid as her dad and let's the guy go, because well, what was his crime if he was doing his f*cking job right? Her dad clears out everyone in the room to talk with Mindy about how to lead, or whatever, taking off his crown where Plankton steals it, yet how Mindy never notices this, that's incredible.
King Neptune: "One day, you will wear this crown."
Mindy: "I'm gonna be bald?!"
Funny Moments Count: 3

While Plankton flies away with Neptune's crown, the camera sots on the Goofy Goober Steamboat as it appears the inside is exactly what adults think young children like, bright colors, rainbows, ice cream, with NO PARENTS by the way as I see nobody around to monitor the well-being of these kids, and some guy in a giant peanut suit singing the not-catchy-or-even-fun "Goofy Goober" song. The camera pans over to the "Nut Bar" to show Spongebob, despite crying, somehow brought himself to come to the ice cream place and wear his hat instead of call up Patrick, cancel and stay home. But Patrick arrives and gets a Goober meal…even though he never ordered it unless he called them in advance- you know what, you can' even do that with Chuck E Cheese, this is just lazy writing meant to be a joke that doesn't quite work.
Spongebob tries to go home but he stays when he sees Patrick receive a Triple Goober Berry Sunrise, even though Patrick wasn't done eating his burger, good Lord, how fast are the waiters in this establishment? Even I can't fix a martini and cook pasta that fast. The sundae entices Spongebob who orders the same thing, to which the duo hastily eat the ice cream so fast, the poor waiter is covered in some of the ice cream from their haste. The duo have, at least by my count, eight of these sundaes before taking the stage and collapsing in front of all these children. We're meant to be endeared by Spongebob's actions, right? 15 minutes in and I'm not endeared by him, I just want him to go home and read a book. Hell, I'd be happier if he hung out with Sandy to talk this over.
The next morning, Spongebob wakes up, apparently drunk as he has five o'clock shadow, purple/reddened eyes and nose and slurring with his clothing wrinkled…either that waiter spiked their ice cream with vodka just to laugh to himself or this movie is going so far as to claim ice cream makes you drunk. Kids, don't listen to these guys, ice cream is just as it sounds. It's cream that is frozen. There is no alcohol in it unless someone puts it in there. I've had a milkshake made from Irish Coffee before, it doesn't take a genius to taste it and figure out there is alcohol in the ice cream if you eat it.

Anyways, Spongebob, while hungover, decides to head down to the Krusty Krab, as he is apparently late for work. At the Krusty Krab 2 (which begs the question, who is running the other Krusty Krab then?), Mr. Krabs sees Neptune approach as he tries to raise the prices on his menu to extort Neptune, but Neptune busts in to accuse Mr. Krabs of stealing his crown. Why does he think Mr. Krabs is the culprit? Because of a note left that says "I stole your crown signed, Eugene Krabs." So this King is so dumb, he's willing to believe a piece of paper that, in all likelihood, doesn't even match Krabs' handwriting or even contain his fingerprints or even have proof or witnesses to prove Mr. Krabs was anywhere near his crown to snatch it in the first place. This movie is about as accurate to crime-solving as Scooby-Doo.
Making Krabs situation worse, his answering machine randomly picks up a message, which asks what was it doing out in the middle of the restaurant and why didn't Krabs pick up the phone to answer this message, but the screenwriters need an easy way to get the plot device established. The caller, which turns out to be Plankton, leaves a message that thanks Krabs for selling him "Neptune's Crown" and stating he gave it away to some guy in Shell City, also, even though Mr, Krabs broke his phone, Plankton can hear Neptune screaming from the pay phone outside. Mr, Krabs begs to Neptune to listen to reason as Neptune asks if anyone can speak on Krabs' behalf. Spongebob arrives, still drunk as a skunk and unaware of what's going on, where he calls Mr. Krabs a jerk. It takes Krabs being shot with a laser for Spongebob to, amazingly, sober up (note to self, e-mail Mythbusters, if lasers to your friends can cause sobriety) as Krabs runs around on fire, despite the fact he's underwater…did I already mention that Patrick made fun of this in an episode where Spongebob lit a campfire that then went out after he addressed it? That was actually funny. Seeing a naked Krabs on fire is not nearly as funny as seeing a naked Krabs in a bra trying to steal a Krabby Patty.

Spongebob finally gets caught up on what Neptune is doing here as Neptune confesses his Crown is important, not to assure his royal authority, but to cover up his bald head that this movie continues to make fun of. Cause bald people are SO funny! #LOL #ROFL #OMG #SPONGEBOB #BALDPEOPLE #F*CKTHISMOVIE
Spongebob offers to journey to Shell City himself and get back Neptune's Crown, but he is laughed at and thrown aside, when Spongebob stand in-between him and Krabs, Neptune tries to fry them both. hmm, 19 minutes and Spongebob dies, maybe this movies wasn't so bad! Sadly, Mindy intervenes and convinces her dad to give Spongebob a chance, but because of Patrick's idiocy, he gives Spongebob only six days to accomplish this quest, otherwise, he will execute Mr. Krabs. To ensure Mr. Krabs doesn't try to escape or, Lord knows, try to HELP in finding the crown, he freezes him in place and Neptune leaves. Mindy warns Spongebob of the dangers he will face on his journey, from monsters, crooks and a Giant Cyclops that takes unsuspecting sea dwellers and are never seen again. To help out, she give Spongebob a bag of winds, how she managed to get that underwater, I have no idea, just roll with it.
By the way, how does Squidward, the grouch Mr. Krabs chose over Spongebob because of his maturity, react to all this? He just walks out the door. Yeah, you sure made the right choice Mr. Krabs, in fact, failing in choosing someone better, why couldn't you hire more people? Did you really expect to be able to run two Krusty Krabs with only two people? You'd probably find someone who's more qualified to the manager position.
Either way, Spongebob assures Mr. Krabs he'll come back to save him as he and Patrick run off into this secret cave below the Krusty Krab 2, we get another example of the animation really making the characters looking overly-exaggerated, to a point that it makes me feel uncomfortable, all to reveal a car made out of a giant Krabby Patty…doesn't start to mold? Just saying…
Patrick: "Hey, I thought you didn't have a driver's license?"
Spongebob: "You don't need a license to drive a sandwich."
Alec: "Yeah, good luck telling the police that when they pull you over."
So our heroes drive off on their quest, crashing out of the window even though they went underground. Bikini Bottom! Where consistency has no meaning. Just like the Cliffs of Inconsistency, CDs for this single are still available today!

While they drive off and Squidward continues to demonstrate how little he cares about this job and, since Krabs it just frozen there, Plankton walks in and steals the Krabby Patty formula in front of Krabs, who cannot do anything. Gee, it's almost like a good MANAGER would ensure this wouldn't happen. No, I'm not letting this go. If you're the manager of an establishment, which is more business-sound to you? Hiring a younger, impressionable yet passionately dedicated employee or an older disgruntled employee who would care less if your life was in danger? Best part about younger employees being managers? They are very easy to control because they're more willing to listen to you.
Spongebob and Patrick drive up to the County Line where they get heckled by two hillbillies working at a gas station, you never know their names but the only thing you'll remember early about them is they seem to slap their knees and laugh all the f*cking time at people. It's really REALLY annoying. If you thought Spongebob's laugh got annoying, these guys just take the cake for having an obnoxious laugh that makes you want to poke out your ear drums. These underwater schmucks tell the du they won't survive over the county line, in which they drive over despite asking to be refilled, which they didn't get, as some large thug, who must have just popped out of the ground since he was never there when Spongebob and Patrick drove up to the gas station, steals their car and drives off. Spongebob and Patrick, nevertheless, take this opportunity to laugh at the gas stations attendants as our heroes just walk on down the road.

Meanwhile, back at the Chum Bucket, Plankton is now selling Krabby Patties, telling a news reporter that Mr. Krabs gave him the formula before he was frozen, despite all the witnesses around at the time who would say otherwise, but considering they're eating soggy fast food, I doubt they would consider that at all. Plankton also sells bucket helmets, which is literally just a bucket he puts on your head, man, that must have been the easiest design decision since selling cups to wear on your feet or designer napkins to wear on your shirt. Plankton is confident in his victory, but his robot wife, Karen (Jill Talley) warns him that Spongebob and Patrick are on their way to reclaim the crown and if they succeed, they may find Plankton's fingerprints, not at all like Neptune could find fingerprints on that note left at the scene of the crime, amiright? Plankton, however, states he thought ahead and he hired Leonard Smalls from "Raising Arizona," you can tell this guy is Leonard Smalls because he rides a motorbike that has a license plate that says "I-Kill-U" and a biker vest that says "Dennis." He's a charming fellow, knits with the elderly, reads to sick orphans, adopts puppies and he occasionally smashes your head under his boot. Leonards Smalls thankfully does me a favor when he drives up to the gas station with heckling attendants and rips their mouths off, literally, before driving off after Spongebob and Patrick.
Speaking of whom, our heroes manage to locate their "Patty Wagon" left by a saloon out in the middle of nowhere but the key is not in the ignition. So instead of just forming a new key since, well, the key is a spatula and you would think any thin object would do the trick, but no, it's imperative to get that spatula key from the tough thug in a bar that has "You Better Swim" by Motorhead playing on the speaker system, hard to believe I didn't recognize that when I was a kid but then again, pretty much every song by Motorhead sounds the same to me, if it weren't for Lemmy's vocals, I probably wouldn't be able to tell it was Motorhead. The two try to get the key, only to end up in the bathroom where they have fun with a broken soap dispenser when a lone bubble flies outside, prompting the thugs to call out that "all bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless in the bar." To find out who blew the bubble, the thugs are all lined up, along with Spongebob and Patrick, and the DJ plays the "Goofy Goober" song…again…it's amazing how one song can become so tired so fast in this movie. Even "That Thing You Do" was played over more times in it's movie and it never once got old, hell, it's still played in supermarkets. This song is so easy to forget because it's so obnoxious and yet, apparently, this song is the only way to draw out what these thugs refer to as "a baby." If I were in Spongebob's place, I would step forward and say "Ya'know, I have to wonder, for a bunch of tough thugs, it sure is suspicious why you would have a Baby Song ready to play at ANY time, just saying guys."
Thankfully, before Spongebob and Patrick can crack, some two-headed fish, yes, a two-headed fish, outs themselves as the thugs beat them up. Spongebob and Patrick escape with the key and they continue to drive onward to Shell City, wasting about, hmm, 10 minutes of animation time. I understand that this movie is a journey so a flowing narrative is not something to expect, but for crying out loud, why include this obstacle when it doesn't help the characters learn anything. If anything, Spongebob could have just asked the thug for the key back, explaining that he's been assigned by King Neptune to get his crown back and the thugs could, hypothetically, warn Spongebob and Patrick of the dangers and give them some helpful advice on what to do to avoid death. At least that's what I'd have written for this movie if I wasn't eleven years old back then.

The next morning, the Krusty Krab 2 manager Squidward goes out for a bike ride where he discovers everyone wearing buckets on their heads. He learns from a passerby that she got it at the Chum Bucket where Plankton sells Krabby Patties. Putting two and two together, Squidward confronts Plankton and, snobbishly, threatens to reveal Plankton's plans to King Neptune, like the guy would even give a crap about fast food or Mr. Krabs to begin with. He'd probably just blow off Squidward and go back to trying to execute his crown polisher or his tail fin massager. Plankton takes action as he activates a signal that forces the buckets on people's heads to envelop their heads and chant "All Hail Plankton." This is why you don't reveal your intentions to expose someone right in front of them. It'd be like if Edward Snowden bragged about exposing the NSA right in front of his boss before he even leaked those sensitive details on the internet, you're not going to get very far if you just brag about exposing someone before you do it.
Meanwhile, Spongebob and Patrick drive through a graveyard of skulls and bones, that they are either too stupid to notice or to ignorant to even care, as they find this ice cream stand, in the middle of nowhere, which turns out to be, what else? A trap from an aquatic anglerfish known to marine biologists as a "Antennarius Stiatrus" or a "Frogfish," fish that uses it's fins to act as lures for prey and are notorious for eating anything twice as big, including other frogfish. Though I can't imagine sponges being edible. Regardless, Spongebob and Patrick manage to evade this monstrosity, at the cost of losing their Patty Wagon when the frogfish leaps over a large trench and gets eaten by an even bigger sea creature. This results in a facial expression from Patrick that has since become a meme in recent memory known as "Surprise Patrick" and, well, it's worth a chuckle to know that meme came from here I suppose. Eh, whatever, add it anyway.
Funny Moments Count: 3.5

Meanwhile, Leonard Smalls locates some soap where he manages to beat up the thugs and sink their saloon all while keeping on Spongebob and Patrick's trail. Back with our heroes, Spongebob decides to give up as he feels there is no way for them to enter the trench and come out, claiming that they're just kids in man's country. Well, 19th Century American literature was all about entering the unknown wilderness to come out as a man so….you know what, classic literature is clearly not what these filmmakers were aiming for, so f*ck it, I was about to write a paragraph comparing this to movie to the trials of Odysseus but this is a movie where Patrick wears Goofy Goober underwear and, high-class intelligence is not necessary for this movie.
Spongebob: "Open your eyes patrick! We blow bubbles, we eat ice cream, we worship a dancing peanut for corn's sake!"
Alec: "Oh yeah, because mature adults don't blow bubbles, eat ice cream or worship models on magazine covers or action stars on posters. REAL men don't do that, pff, how naive of me to assume that."

The duo almost head home when Mindy, driving in a carriage, arrives to tell them Bikini Bottom has been taken over by Plankton in their absence. Wow, what's it been? Two days? Plankton managed to take over Bikini Bottom in only two days?
Spongebob: "Can't your father do something?!"
Alec: "Yeah! Can't your father, King Neptune, whose job is to notice things like this, do something about it?!"
Mindy: "My father's too distracted by his bald spot to do anything."
Alec: "F*CK YOU! Someone get that lazy sonofabitch off the throne and get someone new cause this asshole is so incompetent, he can't look out his own window to notice his subjects aren't happy!"
Mindy insists Spongebob and Patrick just believe in themselves, but the two just start crying for the next two minutes all while Leonard Smalls/Dennis comes closer. Thinking quick, Mindy claims to Spongebob and Patrick that, as they can't go over the trench willingly, she'll "turn them into men." How does she accomplish this? She grabs some seaweed, puts it on their mouths and calls them mustaches. This gives Spongebob and Patrick the confidence boost they needed as, in yet another amusing moment of the movie, the two deem that, as they are men, they're invincible and the leap off the edge of the cliff and fall intuit he trench, with Mindy yelling after them "I never said that!"
Funny Moments Count: 4.5
Though I do have to ask: Mindy can clearly swim though the water as she can swim into the air, why can't she pick up Spongebob and Patrick and CARRY them to the other side of the trench? It'd be a hell of a lot quicker for one reason why she should do this and they could get the crown faster. But I guess being monarchy means you're too lazy to do that, I suppose.

Down in the Trench, Spongebob and Patrick manage to survive their fall as they boldly march through the dangerous trench, by song of course. Thankfully not the Goofy Goober song but a song called "Now That We're Men." During this song, the duo have amazing luck to avoid getting eaten and Patrick even proudly declares he "changed his underwear" pretty fast wardrobe change I have to say. Some giant monsters try to eat them but Spongebob and Patrick manage to avoid this by…slapping themselves and confusing the monsters enough to support them and assist them in getting out of Trench, though the Duo accidentally insults the monsters after they reach the other side. Credit given where credit due, the song isn't half-bad. It is catchy and it's miles above the Goofy Goober song.

Spongebob and Patrick are stopped by the arrival of Leonard Smalls, which prompts one to ask, how the hell did he even get to the other side before those two did? Did he find a bridge or did he find a huge ramp and drive his motorcycle over it? How? Whatever, Leonard here reveals he's here to kill them, tearing off their mustaches to reveal they were fakes.
Spongebob: "They were fake?"
Dennis: "OF COURSE THEY WERE FAKE! This is what a real mustache looks!" (pulls down his bandana and literally makes a mustache appear)
Patrick: "Is he a mermaid?"
Funny Moment Count: 6 (seriously, this moment alone is still one of the funniest moments for any animated cartoon and Patrick's response to that is priceless)
Dennis reveals that Plankton hired him to, specifically, step on Spongebob and Patrick so they would never learn Plankton stole the crown. Before Dennis can get the chance to step on Spongebob and Patrick with his spiked boots, a bigger live action boot steps on Dennis. This bigger boot turns out to be worn by the Cyclops, who is just a guy wearing a Mark V Diving suit, yet he doesn't have any hoses attaches to his helmet to supply air, hell, he doesn't even have a pressurized air tank on his back and yet you can clearly hear him breathing. How is this guy breathing when he has no tubes or scuba tanks?

Whatever, the Cyclops captures Spongebob and Patrick where he takes them away, they wake up to find themselves in a fish bowl as they realize they are in a knick knack store owned by the Cyclops, who demonstrates he kidnaps sea animals and turns them into "smelly knick-knacks with google eyes." The Cyclops then places the two under a lamp that dries them out while the Cyclops goes to the bathroom with a book. As the two begin to dry out, Patrick points out that they, in fact, made it to Shell City Marine Gifts and Sundries as they see the Crown on display for $7.00. The two cry teardrops that form a heart as they sing out the Goofy Goober song one last time before they finally dry out and die to an over-dramatic score.
Now you'd probably expect me to say "good, now they're dead, movie over right?" Well, if I've learned anything, when you still have at least 20 minutes or more of run-time, there's always some Deus Ex Machina to save the day. Not to mention, this was originally going to be the series finale of Spongebob Squarepants. That's right, Hillenburg originally intended this movie to be the final adventures of Spongebob as he himself was hoping to move on to other projects. Nickelodeon and Paramount, however, didn't want that as Spongebob was making a mint for Nickelodeon's merchandising branch, so once the movie was done, Nickelodeon immediately green-lit four more seasons, Hillenburg, as he was contractually obligated with Nickelodeon, could not leave the show he was hoping to retire. It's hence why now the show has steeped in quality, Hillenburg is not the lead voice on the show, leaving it to other people to make up some nod the moss unfunny and disgusting cartooning in recent memory and all Hillenburg can do is just watch in hour and collect his paychecks as his little sponge gets made into a merchandising whore.

Anyways, the pirates in the audience, even though when I saw this movie back in the day, there was a dry eye in the house, as the parrot remids the audience of the "Tear of the Goofy Goober" that, magically, manages to crawl down the cord to the lamp and short circuit the power, this short-circuiting causes smoke which rises into the fire emergency sprinklers, which hydrate Spongebob and Patrick back from the grave.
Joy.
The two head for the crown, which is now much bigger than it was before, as the Cyclops arrives. However, all the water brings all the dead fish to life (cause Goofy Goober tears can do that I suppose. It worked for "Tangled" I believe) and they all attack the Cyclops while a mariachi fish band plays them off. Spongebob and Patrick run off onto the beach as we get the STRANGEST joke that I still don't understand after all these years. Spongebob asks for the bag of winds, Patrick turns around to expose this huge bulge in his butt before revealing the bag in his hand and he turns around asking "what?" when Spongebob stares. I don't get it. Is that supposed to be an erection joke? Are those hemorrhoids? If someone is a marine biologist, could you please explain the joke for that? I've been trying to figure out that joke for 10 years and I still don't get it.
Moving on, Patrick accidentally releases the bag of winds and, just as Spongebob wonders how they'll get to Bikini Bottom, in comes one of the most random guest appearances since Robert Patrick in "Wayne's World."
David Hasselhoff.
Well…I guess considering he was on "Baywatch," the reference makes some sense but…this is more confusing than anything. What kid in 2004 is going to know who this guy is? I sure as hell didn't, hell, I still don't even know who David Hasselhoff is, apart from some guy who is more than willing to take his shirt off, but Zac Efron and Taylor Lautner are willing to do that for less money. Or hell, if Neil Patrick Harris was in this movie, it's automatically go up two stars in my book. In fact, forget Spongebob, let's just watch a movie where Neil Patrick Harris saves an entire city by being awesome.  
Anyway, he swims/ power speeds (in a rather amusing moment I admit…okay, add that: Funny Moments Count: 6.5) the duo back to Bikini Bottom and just in time as Neptune, who, again, is SO stupid and distracted that he can't just look around to notice all these statues that were built while he was dealing with his bald spot, as Neptune returns to execute Mr. Krabs, Mindy tries to give the two some more time by stalling her dad. While that happens, Dennis comes back to finish the job.
Spongebob: "Patrick run!"
Alec: "Run? Run where? There's not a lot of space on David Hasselhoff to run to, where do you expect to go anyway?"
Dennis chases after Spongebob like some serial killer. During the chase which ends at Hasselhoff's foot, Spongebob blinds Dennis with bubbles until Hasselhoff swims under a boat that rams Dennis off. Back with Mindy, Neptune tires of his daughter's stalling and he shoos her outside, putting a lock on the door to ensure she doesn't come in. Oh man, if only this place had a back door or something…

Back on the surface, David Hasselhoff places Spongebob and Patrick in-between his pectoral muscles and, just as Neptune is about to fire on Krabs, fires them down to the bottom to intercept the laser, redirecting it to Hasselhoff, laying back above, who only gets charred and delivering an amusing "ow."
Neptune celebrates getting his crown back, Mindy, somehow, manages get back inside the Krusty Krab, though the lock has mysteriously disappeared on the doors. Plankton, however, has one last trick up his sleeve, as well as a horrible one-liner, as he pulls a cord that drops a King-Sized bucket on top of King Neptune, turning him into another of Plankton's slaves as well as bringing together all the other bucketheads in Bikini Bottom. Spongebob states that "Plankton cheated" which prompts Plankton to halt murdering him just to gloat in Spongebob's face that he's "a stupid kid." Now, get ready for this folks cause, this is where the movie takes a serious turn for the worse as it basically shoots itself in the foot with hammering this speech that totally disregards the thematic device that this movie was setting itself up with.
Spongebob: "I guess you're right Plankton. I am just a kid and you know, I've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty seven and a half seconds and if I've learned anything during that time, it's that you are who you are. And no amount of mermaid magic or managerial promotion or some other this thing can make me more than what I really am inside: a kid."
Alec: "Yes. This is what the movie was building up to. Some big speech that "oh kids are so special." You know what? This is really the biggest failing of the movie: Spongebob does not change. As much crap as I gave "The Brave Little Toaster" for it's poor character development, you still see the characters make a change. Spongebob went on a journey that tested him and forced him to overcome his own doubts. This is known in literary terms as "The Hero's Journey," a case where the hero has to overcome his/her own personal obstacles to overcome the conflict that has interfered with his/her "ordinary world." What spongebob went through demanded that he step up and take responsibility, to, as the movie claims "be a mature man." But this speech is literally Spongebob saying, "screw that, everything I accomplished, I did because I'm a kid and I'm going to remain a kid because I don't need to grow up!"
This goes back to my argument from "Grow Up Timmy Turner!" a movie which has the theme of maturing and growing up to accept the responsibilities in your life but it just slaps that away to say "screw that, you don't ever need to grow up kids!" This journey hasn't taught Spongebob anything. He never changed, he never overcame any of his obstacles he suffered from. The only obstacle he suffered from was cowardice from crossing a trench and you what he did for that? He accepted maturity of being an adult and gained newfound confidence from it. But now that he's home after all he's learned, does he still keep that new-found confidence he found while he thought he was a man, realizing that he was a man all along? NO! He just flat-out rejects this and states that he's perfectly satisfied being a man-child. Screw you Nickelodeon! SCREW! YOU!"

Oh but as if that wasn't as low as Spongebob could go. How does Spongebob overcome this conflict? He sings the Goofy Goober song to the tune of Twisted Sister's "I Wanna Rock" and the finale of this movie turns into an MTV music video.
What
The
Flying
Sh*t?
I mean, WHAT?! Spongebob is a show that's known for random things that you didn't expect, but typically there was usually some indication or a lead-in for it. Take "Band Geeks" for instance, the entire episode establishes how the marching band has no talent and yet by the big day, the marching band reveals this stellar rock show performance when the last we saw of the band was Spongebob preparing to lead them into a practice session. Point is, it gave a hint that this ending was possible, but for this movie? This is so out of left field. I'd be more willing to accept this if, say, earlier in the movie, Spongebob won a Goofy Goober prize but was told to "open it when you're ready." At least then it wouldn't seem as random.
But as for this music video that plays for a Deus Ex Machina, let me give my critic's stamp of disapproval to deconstruct what visuals appear:
-Spongebob frees some toys from prison, yet a searchlight shines on him, but his face is darkened, as if the light is shining from behind, not on the front of his face like a searchlight would be.
-Patrick wears leather boots and fishnet stockings….ya know, a kid's movie?...no, forget that lame joke... just…just no…that one image of Patrick in fishnets took my childhood hard in the patookus back then…
-Spongbob "Little Richards" it. Yeah there's some moment in the song where Spongebob goes into a white suit and sounds like Little Richard but without the words. This isn't even on the official track from the soundtrack, was this supposed to be funny? Cause I'm not chuckling.
Spongebob suddenly switches wardrobe and has a peanut guitar as he flies into the air- er- water while jamming out a solo that charges the guitar and fires a laser at the buckets, freeing the citizens of Bikini Bottom. Hey SPongebob, what was that you were saying earlier about cheating?
Guess what, that's what you're doing.
You're cheating.
Why do I say this? Because I would expect Plankton to have a large bucket on standby to take over Neptune when the time was right. It makes sense because he's established that the buckets are "one size-fits all" so it would make sense that he would have that. But this? Spongebob just pulled this ability out of his ass without even previously established that he COULD do this. Hence, I have the gall to accuse Spongebob of foul play for this ending.

So Spongebob frees everybody, including Neptune, Plankton is taken away by the authorities, somehow all the monuments of Plankton are torn down in that last hour and everything is back to being blue and cheerful, King Neptune admits Mindy's compassion was right and he releases Mr. Krabs (though not before he accidentally turns Mr. Krabs into a human, stating "I guess I had it set to Real Boy Ending." eh, chalk it up)
Funny Moments Count: 7
Mr. Krabs apologizes to Spongebob for doubting him and he makes Squidward give up the Manager position, that Squidward didn't want in the first place, as Spongebob takes it, mentioing that Squidward's fly is down (even though he doesn't wear pants), Spongebob jumps up in freeze frame and the song "Ocean Man" by Ween plays them out. If you're willing to sit through the most boring song ever written, "The Best Day Ever," you get to see the pirates be ordered by an usher to leave the theater while she sweeps away popcorn.

- -

I…have mixed feelings about this movie....feelings that tend to lean to the negative side of it...

Let's say I was willing to look past the uncomfortable animation done for the facial features that were either creepy or just cutesy. Let's say I was willing to look past all these inconsistencies (Dennis appears on the other side of the trench before Spongebob and Patrick do, a day goes from early morning sun to the sunsetting in minutes and how a day passes and yet it's supposedly more than just a 24 Hour period). Let's even say I'm willing to look past the no surprises plot and sporadic ending.
The one thing that I refuse to look past is the movie's mixed message.
From the very beginning, the movie sets up that Spongebob is asked to mature and take responsibility like a man. We can understand that this is clearly the theme of the movie: showing maturity. Yet the entire movie seems to mix this message as it portrays adults as ignorant, thick-headed jerks that are quick to judge and yet, when Spongebob outright says aloud he only made this journey because he was a child inside, this is Spongebob just outright rejecting what the movie's message was established.
To put it simply: Spongebob does not learn. He doesn't learn his lesson because he is still the same childish sponge he was when he left Bikini Bottom. Take a look at Pixar's 2003 undersea movie "Finding Nemo," how does the main character start out? Nervous, paranoid and over-protective. How is he by the end of the movie? By the end, he's more confident in himself and not so over-protective of his son.
Point is: Marlin learns from his experience and it changes it.
Spongebob learned form his experience and it doesn't change anything.
The only characters to actually change are the minor characters and they only change because the main characters proved them wrong. Neptune changed because Mindy proved his firm leadership was wrong. Mr. Krabs changed because Spongebob proved that he was more than capable of handling responsibility.
Spongebob, the title character of the movie, does not undergo ANY change to help him overcome the obstacles of his trial. It took being tricked into thinking he was a man to get him to go through a trench when he was ready to go home but did he learn from that? No! The ending has him flat-out rejecting being a man in favor of just being an immature child and, somehow, rejecting the theme that this movie established, it allowed Spongebob to pull this Goofy Goober Rock ending right out of his ass and save the day. You know what would be more satisfying an ending? If Spongebob went back to the sea monsters in the trench and took them to Bikini Bottom, asserting his confidence without the mustache, proving Spongebob's maturity to the monsters.
Hell, Spongebob could have gone back to the bikers and made them come with him to fight Plankton.
What would be the point of this ending you ask?
It would show that Spongebob has finally accepted the role of responsibility as a man and, with his confidence, stands up against the things that scared him and make them follow him.

But no, clearly this movie wants the kids to think that kids are better than adults and that they shouldn't change at all. This smug attitude that allows of the main character to continue his responsibility-free lifestyle of being able to stay a child forever, this is the same attitude that ruined "Grow Up Timmy Turner." I'd say that Nickelodeon was intentionally putting in this bullsh*t message, but look at movies like "Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius," a movie that shows the character accepting responsibility for his actions and, guess what, learning from them and maturing like a kid.

And that's the main problem with this movie.
Kids make mistakes.
A good parent needs to teach their children that children should take responsibility for their mistakes.
Kids recognize that they made mistakes and they learn from them to improve themselves.
That is part of growing up.
That is how you become a man.
Not through promotions at work or growing facial hair or being tough.
By analyzing your mistakes and learning to improve yourself so the mistake doesn't happen again.
This is how you mature.
This is growing up.
Giving up your fairies to save lives, that is being mature.
Just being able to have your fairies come back to you just because, that is being immature.
Being willing to go forth and help someone who cheated you despite the danger that lies ahead and conquering your fears, that is being mature.
Outright deny the lessons you've learned and continue to live the childish life you've lived by, that is immature.

Screw you Nickelodeon, screw you.

And screw this movie too!

To make matters worse? There's ANOTHER Spongebob Movie coming out in February of 2015. That's just great, considering February is the release date of the "Fifty Shades of Grey" movie adaptation, it looks like we're all gonna get f*cked over with a horrible Spongebob 3D movie and a movie about BDSM.




Oh but I'm not done yet…
You think the Spongebob movie was insulting?
Let me tell you about it's video game tie-in...
Artwork = :iconjarvisrama99:

With the announcement of the sequel, "Sponge Out of Water 3D," I take it upon myself to deconstruct Nickelodeon's biggest slap to the face of fans since "Grow Up Timmy Turner" and "The Last Airbender."

You can tell I was quite a fan of Spongebob when I was growing up, I was so eager to see this movie when it came out, I saw it twice in the theater when it came out, but even I noticed the show stopped being as funny as "Something Smells," "Band Geeks," "Hooky," and "Chocolate with Nuts." I wasn't watching Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network around 2006ish when my family moved and, to save on money, we didn't get cable, we only had 13 channels at the time and Nick was not one of them. By the time my folks got DirectTV, when I watched the episodes I missed, I was shocked to find how much the show degraded into being horribly annoying and creepy.
And ultimately, this movie's biggest damage to the show was basically making Spongebob able to get away with anything he does with no repercussions and yet it's Squidward and everyone else around Spongebob that suffers for his mistakes and actions, not Spongebob.

Oh and if you think I'm done tearing apart this movie, I've got few choice words for it's video game tie-in, see that review soon.
© 2014 - 2024 Volts48
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Spongey444's avatar
I'm fine with most of what you say here but i have two points

1. Well i kind of see your point of the main charecter not really learning anything ala Cars 2, i think the message itself is good n it's own: There's nothing wrong with being a kid and you shouldn't need to act tough/become something you're not. The alt moral would be a good one yeah, but this one is fine too. It's a well intended message on it's own. (Plus, the show itself supports the moral. Anytime he tries to be tough, it fails. See No Weenies allowed and MuscleBob Buffpants).

2. I think it's really stupid to blame the movie itself on the show going downhil. Nick is to blame for not ending the show here like Hillbenburg wanted to. The movie itself existing has nothing to do with it. Stephen felt was this a good ending, but Nick wanted money and the rest is history.