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  • Listening to: Old School Hollywood - System of a Down
  • Playing: Assassins Creed II
  • Drinking: water

I heard this song and Good God, it was so bad I just had to write something about it...enjoy.

*EDIT* turns out the song has been removed from YouTube by UWG, so meaning you cannot hear the song until it's legal again or official. So either that's a good thing or a bad thing, take from that what you will.

*EDIT 2* Wait, it seems to have come back. Nevermind.

- -

I know it's been a few days since the VMAs with Miley Cyrus' performance being the only thing anyone talks about it. I stated before the obnoxiousness of Miley acting so immature by trying to pass herself off as this slutty brat to try and distance herself from her Disney days with Hanna Montana. Granted, I couldn't stand her crappy music back then, but seeing what she's become lately is just embarrassing to watch her degrade herself and yet her fans just let her do this saying "she's an adult now." Cause nothing says you're an adult than acting even more immature than a 10 year-old.

With that said, let's also talk about another former child star who is making a bigger ass of himself, Justin Bieber.

Do I remember the days when this little prick got popular and yet the only song I knew anyone talked about back then was "Baby" and I just laughed at how bad his singing was and how ridiculous it was for a kid his age to try and sweep a girl off her feet when his voice sounded like his balls hadn't dropped yet.

But it seems this year alone, Justin Bieber has been acting even more of a spoiled brat than Miley Cyrus. From purposefully getting into fights at restaurants, getting removed from Disneyland, over-pricing his concert tickets and spitting on his fans; it's a miracle his fans are WAY too forgiving to even let him get away with this behavior. By the way, his music since "Baby?" It's sucked, like, hard. It's dull, uninspired, while Bieber's voice doens't sound as pathetic as he did in 2008, his voice sounds awful with the use of computerization he puts to make his voice sound decent-ish. As for the songs themselves, it sounds like Bieber just took the dictionary of things to sweep teenage girls off their feet from One Direction just to make his songs.

I bring these two up because all across the Twitter and Tumblr face, I've been hearing talk of this single they two have done together and people calling it "the worst song ever. How bad is it? Well, as much as I regret doing so, here you go ladies and gents, Justin Bieber ft. Miley Cyrus' "Twerk."

Where do I begin?

Well, let's start with Miley's chorus, what do her magical lines say?

"I came up in this party time to twerk.

"I came up in this party and I'm turnt."

"I came up in this party time to twerk.

"Twerk, twerk, twerk, twerk, twerk."

First of all, you can't rhyme 'twerk,' I checked it with RhymeZone.come, they do not have any words to combine it with.

Secondly, 'turnt' is not a word. Although the Urban Dictionary has a definition, I'm looking for the definition from a more reliable source, so I turned to the dictionary. Guess what, it's not a real word.

Thirdly, 'you came up to this party time to twerk?' well let's take off some points for bad grammar since I have no idea what it is she's trying to say with that statement. Did you just come to the party to twerk? Were you even invited? Did you come to the party and then once you got through the door, you began twerking on the spot? News flash, you don't have the butt for twerking Miley. Sir Mix-A-Lot wrote a song celebrating big butts and guess what, as silly as the song is, it's still far more memorable a song and it's opening chorus is so recognizable, I could literally say the first two lines and I guarantee, someone will automatically finish it for me. 

Anyways, the chorus is incompetent enough, what about the rest of the song?

Well, it's pitiful.

I never really listened to Justin Bieber music so I could never understand why people called him a "little white Usher," but you listen to Justin's singing and, yeah, it's pretty much an Usher style of singing, hell, this whole song has the making of what feels like a rejected Usher song that Usher probably just wrote down the main lyrics, no chorus, and when someone suggested Twerking, Usher just threw it in the garbage out of anger and then Bieber's manager just rooted through his garbage and gave the crumpled up lyrics to Justin who then added Twerking after seeing Miley's performance on the VMAs so he could make up an excuse to get in on this twerking craze.

Because of these two severe differences in tone, it really makes this song confused tonally. Where Justin's lyrics are more suggestive, if you didn't say this was about twerking, you could just say this is a club song of Justin asking you to come out to the dance floor and show him your moves and if he likes what he sees, he'll take you to his car. But Miley is just so blatant and outspoken that it feels like she just poked her head over Justin's shoulder and screamed at the girl he's talking to. It just doesn't work. If you were to tell me that Miley Cyrus was writing a song and Justin asked her to contribute to this song he was writing and instead of coming up with something clever like "You're a bad boy baby, you make me wet with sweat, stand right there and watch me shakin' my stuff, you ain't seen nothin' yet." or something like that. Miley is so blatant it ruins the suggestiveness of whatever Justin is trying to give.

The beat? I can hit the same same four keys on my piano and play it on repeat as well. Hell, I could have made a more catchy beat on GarageBand, a app that comes with every Mac product. It's the laziest sound I've ever heard, just next to LMFAO's "I'm Sexy and I Know It."

This song brings to mind really bad sex songs like "My Humps" from the Back Eyed Peas and whatever Flo Rida has done. This is song is neither laughably bad or even so bad it's good. It's just bad because it's clear there is no effort really put into this. It was made to cash in on the bad publicity these two have brought on themselves lately and this song clearly shows they know what they're doing. How long will it take before they finally grow up and actually make music that treats it's audience like adults, who knows. But I find it strange that back when Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber were hitting the charts, another up and coming country singer Taylor Swift was making her debut. I thought was just another teenage girl that came in to fill up the pop market, but it's strange to think that her music lately, while deviating away from her country roots, has far more  respect for her  fans and actually writes songs that appeals to their feeling of being discovered...I say that to acknowledge "You Belong With me," which I have grown to find it not as bad as I originally claimed it to be but finding her recent "this guy dumped me so I'm gonna write a song about it" songs she's been writing to be a little annoying, but at least show effort.

Call it strange, but this song reminded me of a different song from System of a Down, another band that puts more effort into their music. If you want to get that horrible song out of your head, let this song at least wash that horrible bile out of your ears, because that's the thing about this song: it's so easy to forget you heard it.

Add a Comment:
Volts48 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
just to bring some sanity to yourself Alec, here is *Alisaihin's response to this review:
Well, you completely lambasted that song, and after hearing it (and well, kinda figured it needed it) it deserved that lambasting. Jesus shit, you weren't kidding when Miley is so out of place in the song. Her tonal difference is just grating.

I have more interesting drum loops stuffed away in FL. That came with the program, and I can make better ones myself
Basically, it's a song that was just shit out of their collective asses. I can't conclude any differently

Baby Got Back definitely has more passion by far. Sure, it's a perverted song but hell, at least the guy put some soul into it.
TheBarrelReviews Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I like quite a lot of SoaD's songs but I hadn't heard "Old School Hollywood" before. When I listened to it, it reminded me of "Hunting for Witches" by Bloc Party, so I went to listen to that song.  I listened to a few other rock songs after that and I now absolutely cannot remember what "Twerk" sounds like. 
Congratulations! You successfully introduced me to "Twerk" and - more importantly - successfully helped erase it out of my memory. I am forever grateful!
Volts48 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
yeah, that is probably the only good thing about it, you can forget about it after listening to 5 other much better songs.
QueenThranduilinda Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013
Both Cyrus and Bieber are getting WAAAY out of control. Last week, I read that he got into some kind of fight, and he had his team of guards beat up a guy for him!! :angered: What a complete son of a bitch!! :angered:
Volts48 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
Maybe this might make you feel better:…
QueenThranduilinda Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2013
:giggle: Okay, that was pretty funny. Thank you for showing me that. :)
Feargm Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
More music reviews pls.
Volts48 Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013  Hobbyist Filmographer
if there are any recent songs that grab my attention, I'll review music.
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August 30, 2013


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